Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

I put other people's feelings before my own

8 replies

gemcrystal2002 · 09/11/2007 10:19

Hi i am v new to this so here goes....
I am feeling bad for my friend at the moment. This lad who i have known for a while has told me that he really likes and has feelings for me, no problem with that as he is single! I really like him too so there should't be a problem with us giving it a go. The only thing is my friend which i have known for about 8 months really likes him and when i was going through problems with my ex me and her would chat about it like friends do, she also would talk to me about him. He has no feelings for her like that whatsoever and has made it clear for a while now, to him they are like bestfriends! I have finally let him know that i do like him and we are on the verge of starting a relationship. I am so worried about when she knows about it as i feel very guilty that i like him when i know she did first and i'm sure she will feel like i am out of order. I dont like these situations as i am v loyal to all my friends. Maybe i should ignore my feelings for him to stop her getting more hurt but is that really possible? I have been through a lot in the last year and just want to be happy. Should i stop this going on for her sake??

OP posts:
lou33 · 09/11/2007 10:24

have you thought about talking to her about it?

warthog · 09/11/2007 10:44

i would talk to her.

Original poster
gemcrystal2002 · 09/11/2007 11:09

Yeah thats the right thing to do but im being a total wimp at the moment and am scared of the confrontation

OP posts:
Earlybird · 09/11/2007 11:42

You need to talk to her. It doesn't have to be confrontational - just honest. It will be much harder if you don't talk to her and she finds out later that you/he are involved.

Maybe he needs to talk to her too, if the two of them are 'best friends'.

warthog · 09/11/2007 12:42

you never know, she might have gone off him.

joselyne · 09/11/2007 12:59

I feel for you because I can imagine that this is a very awkward situation for you to be in.

If this guy and your friend are like best friends then it may be best for him to talk to her about it.

Perhaps he could put it in a light hearted way such as casually commenting that he quite likes you and is thinking of taking you on a date.

I think that if you make an issue of her feelings or if she thinks that he knows how she feels about him then it might make her feel worse about the situation.

lou33 · 09/11/2007 15:55

it will be more confrontational if she thinks you are seeing him in secret

Original poster
gemcrystal2002 · 11/11/2007 09:17

Thanks for ur advice guys i spoke to her about it the other day. She was very upset but said she wouldnt fall out with me but i think things will still be a bit dodgy for a while. I felt so bad i just hope this is all worth it and that he truly means what he says to me! x

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page