is a husband who has joined divorce website just looking out of interest?

[lancarra]

I have just discovered he has joined with the comment 'thinking about divorce' his only answer is I should not be reading into it so seriously he has lied in the past and does does not think these sort of things can have serious implications in denial etc, I think I will make his wish come true what do you think?

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Sorry to say it, but it doesn't look good.

Me thinks he is looking for a little extra marital excitement. So, give him some! Build a bonfire and burn all his clothes!!!

Then tell him not to take it too seriously!

Ok ,I have got 4 children youngest 6 mnths he has got more distant and just gets verbally nasty if he is asked about anything more serious than the weathie, he did have intimate internet conversations with several women a few years ago and had arranged to meet one but he would much prefer to convieniently forget this, he does not understand that when you cheat and lie people don't automatically think the best of you , o and I did find a lap dancing token in his bag he denies all knowledge, he just gets a condecending attitude and tries to make out its all your fault (denial)

you go and join a 'looking for extramarital excitement'group and see if he takes that seriously. he is being an arse

Yes I think so too, tosser that is

I think he's a badun. Can you sit down with him and have a serious talk about your relationship or will he not act in a mature way?

He is not violent or anything but he refuses to take responsibility for his actions, he would say its perfectly normal and ok for joining this and he needed to join it to read posts (you don't)he comes out with I'm paranoid always angry blah blah blah, it makes me sick he has obviously been doing this for some time baby only 6mnths old what a thoughtless selfish tosser

He is just all angry now because it has backfired on him rather badly and yes you guessed it its all my fault

I bet he is just being an ass because he is probably embarrassed that he got caught

how can you reason with anyone who twists things all the time and lives in denial if I showed him this he would just say we are all neurotic and he is still in the right, well remember the saying be careful what you wish for......

I think that its time just to call him on it. SAY in no uncertain terms you know what he is doing and if he wants to do that then he should be man enough to tell you.

Maybe counselling so that someone else an tell him he is being unreasonable.

Sorry to say this but as well as counselling I would suggest seeing a solicitor just so you are prepared.

He wouldn't have any reason to go on that site IMO if it wasn't an option for him.

Make sure you have a copy of all financial info (bank statments, credit card, his earnings) then keep it at a friend's/relative's house.

hi, i have given my comment lots of thought before posting - i think NOW is the time that you have to find the strength to stand -up for yourself and your dcs. his behaviour is totally unreasonable for a married, commited husband and father. he is showing you zero love and respect and it is time to tell him that unless his behaviour changes YOU are the one thinking of divorce!

tell him this firmly, calmly and brook no more arguments, twisting of words etc. tell him that if he wants the life of a single man he is going the right way to achieve his wish.

decent men do not have 'intimate' convosations with other women, they know that it would be terribly hurtful AND put their marriage at incredible risk.

please put make your feelings abuntantly clear, you are important, you need to maintain your self-respect, you will never do that if you allow people who profess to love you to treat you in this shabby way!