Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How to move out

8 replies

Earlgrey19 · 27/03/2021 14:14

DH and I have decided to separate. Have 2 young DC.

It’s currently feeling unbearable living together. He is constantly angry with me and no boundaries about coming in to my room any time of evening for intense conversations. Sometimes I just need space and am not up for that some evenings. I never know when he’s going to come into me and start. The other morning he was talking about divorce in front of our 6 year old and made him late for school. He can’t hold back. It’s not abuse but I need to get out of living with him. I’m beginning to feel panic attack at the thought of him walking in the front door. But I can’t afford to rent somewhere unless we use our joint finances. His salary is almost 4x mine but he refuses to move out although he does want to separate. He wants to stay in the family home and me move out.

I’m low earner. Work part time, quite low income, I spent 5 years at home with the children.

We’d need to sell our house or let DH buy me out. We will look at getting a separation agreement. However even then I doubt I could afford to rent a place big enough for me and the 2 children especially if local to their school. (We own house outright. I’ll eventually use that equity to buy new place but need to live apart from DH before then).

Feeling really stuck, emotionally I need to get out in the next few weeks — any ideas?

OP posts:
Mmmmdanone · 27/03/2021 15:15

In my opinion he should move out. I believe you would have a right to stay in the house if you are the primary carer until children leave school. I'm also looking into this at the moment. Don't leave. He has the money to rent somewhere.

Mmmmdanone · 27/03/2021 15:17

Can't actually believe he would let you and the DC go through the upheaval of moving out.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 27/03/2021 15:21

If you have not to date sought legal advice I would do this ASAP. It may well be that you will be able
His behaviour towards the children and you is I would say abusive in nature. Abuse does not have to be physical in nature. If he is abusive as well you may not be able to have a mediation agreement.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 27/03/2021 15:21

It may be that you are able to remain within the home.

Cherrysoup · 27/03/2021 15:27

Can you afford the council tax/bills if you stay? Why on earth does he think he should stay and you move out? Could you bolt the bedroom door while you’re in there?

Cherrysoup · 27/03/2021 15:28

You need a solicitor and to discuss an occupation order.

Earlgrey19 · 27/03/2021 16:24

Thanks all, I saw a solicitor but it was a while ago, need to update with the current situation.
I will have a read about occupation order, thanks Cherrysoup.

OP posts:
Earlgrey19 · 27/03/2021 16:41

Actually I think we would have to sell family home, or he buy me out, as although he has more salary, the lawyer I spoke to pointed out that we’d both need enough equity to buy houses big enough for the children, and this wouldn’t be possible for him without some of our current house equity. So I don’t think I can stay until they are 18...

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread