Ex and I have been split up since last year and he has been having regular ish contact with our ds (15 months)
I’d say once a month he will let him down and change plans at the very last minute and ask to have him another day for a shorter time or start an argument so he can block me. When he does have him he will either be silent and I’ll get no reply to asking how my sons doing or he will be the other way and be texting me constantly.
He’s just done it again at 10.15 today bearing in mind I’m meant to be dropping him off at 11.30.
I have made plans work so I have people waiting and relying on me but this doesn’t seem to matter to ex, he said he will let me know by11.15 if he’s having him.
His reason today is that his other son is poorly has S&D, am I out of order for saying his other son should go home if he’s unwell?
I’m just really sick of it all, I feel he rules the arrangements and if he’s not asking to change plans he wants to change the set contact days. At first it we agreed he would have him Fridays one weekend and Saturdays another, then he didn’t want him overnight on the Saturday weekend so it was just during the day, then wanted every Saturday and now has said he wants to go back to alternate like it was in the beginning.
I consider myself really reasonable and flexible and I also take into consideration he has other children too but I feel our son just gets shipped off home at the earliest opportunity once he feels he has done his bit. I don’t mind swapping and changing because life does happen but there’s more swapping and changing on his part than there is stability and that’s what my son needs.
He isn’t a regular payer either, I have to be constantly on at him to receive the money I do otherwise he would get away with not paying. Money isn’t the main thing but it’s important he contributes and the money is needed by me.
I’m considering taking him to the CSA and having them do it all for me but I’m not sure what to do about the contact. I have put my foot down in the past when he tried to rearrange contact on the day and said I’ve made him available but if your not willing to have him then you’ll have to wait till the next week and all hell broke lose, I was stopping him from seeing him in his eyes.
Apart from court what else can I do? In at my wits end here and totally fed up. I’m just glad my sons so young not to understand that his dad has let him down yet again .