How do I escape?

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I’m in a horrific marriage. Any disagreement or argument results in him giving me the silent treatment. Indefinitely. I can’t stand it anymore. Over the years my confidence has disappeared. I’ve got no local support system and Covid/lockdown means I’ve got nowhere to go. How do I get out of this? How do I build my life back up? I want a different life to this

Do you have children? How far away are your family? Do you get on with them? It's good that you're getting ready to leave. It's no way to live.

Yes kids. Family a few hours away but we’re not close and it’s a small family and I don’t have any friends there. I don’t know what to do

Do you own your home? Do you work? How old are the children?

Yes owned. School aged kids. Don’t work

Do you thi k he would leave? Could you all stay with family temporarily even if not close? Can you find a job?

Do you want to stay local to where you are?

I think your first priority is to get some financial independence by looking for work, as things start to open up there should be more possibilities and interacting with other people will start to build your confidence.

You also need to find a solicitor who will help you through the splitting of the assets.

You could also try women’s aid who may help you sort out something temporarily.

Contact women’s aid, they will help you find a safe way to exit and a place to go, good luck OP www.womensaid.org.uk/about-us/contact/

Are you able to work?

First thing to do is get a job asap for some financial independence and some legal advice so you know where you stand re house and money. Sounds unlikely he will leave do you may have to. So get money together and make a plan. Sounds simple and I know its not, its hard, but you can do it and be happy again in time. Have you anything friends to confide in/help you plan?

I’ve got a couple of good friends who are there for me. I need a job. I can’t do anything without that. I was getting somewhere before Covid but the job market is dire and I’m really struggling to find anything

Can you use the silent treatments to your advantage? Make your plans for escape while he is ignoring you.

Ok, you take it one step at a time and build yourself an exit plan. It feels overwhelming and impossible if you try to take everything on at once, but it is achievable if you break it down.

Accepting in your own mind you need to leave is the first step.

Exploring employment options is one aspect.

Doing a universal credit calculation based on being single is another.

Looking at rental properties.

Working out a budget. Money Advice Service may be helpful there.

Speaking to Women's Aid about his abuse and what support may be available to you.

Speaking to Citizens Advice or a solicitor.