relationship sadness

[magnolia55]

Had so many ups and downs this last year. know I'm not alone so I feel bad for saying but I've been living with an alcoholic for 10 years. It wasn't obvious at first. Loving, devoted and hard working man but drinks every day. Always says its his way to relax after a hard day. We did a drink aware test and it showed 86 units per week. I persuaded him to go to the gp and he was great but my husband refused to accept a problem.
move on 12 months and its been horrendous. him blaming me... I'm comtrolling; a nag; don't let him have 5 minutes etc, but 3 times hes told me he hates me then is all regrettful but it hurts. this last time he said he hates me and doesn't love me.
I think I should walk away but how can you when you love someone so much? It's an illness right? But I also feel beaten down. 75% of time he's amazing. Do I walk away or stay?

Walk away. You know it's what you have to do. You need to put yourself and your own happiness first. Perhaps he'll get help when you leave, perhaps he won't. Either way, you need to look after yourself.

I'm sorry you're in this situation, it must be awful for you.

Would you eat a sandwich that was 75% your faverote ingredients and 25% shit? Would you eat one every day? God no, right?

A partner should make your life happier, easier and better. Not sadder, stressier and worse.

Run for the hills.

This situation will never get better unless he genuinely wants to change. In the meantime you can waste the rest of your life trying to change him.
Will you still love him when he becomes a dysfunctional alcoholic totally dependant on you looking after him.financially, mentally and emotionally. How appealing is that?
Do you have children ? Alcohol and family life is not a good mix .