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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Massive crush

18 replies

Mumoftwo02 · 26/03/2021 13:24

I have a massive crush on a co worker that I get the feeling from is not interested in talking to me. How can I figure out if he is or not or how can I get over it just.

I know this is no big issue but I think about him alot. Would a single man with no kids even be interested in a woman with two kids?

OP posts:

Wanderlusto · 26/03/2021 13:47

Odd feeling to get from someone (That they don't want to talk to you). Quite a strong signal. Normally if I get that feeling from someone it means they are a self centred, narcissistic asshole. Unless he has noticed you like him and is giving 'back off' signals.

Or perhaps you just mean it as in your paths don't really cross much at work and he is always busy doing other things?

But if you're genuinely getting the feeling someone 'doesn't want to talk' then that is probably the case. One way or another.

You have two options. One, attempt conversation when he doesnt look too busy and see how it goes. Two, find a new crush.

seensome · 26/03/2021 14:11

He's not interested in talking to you so I would assume not, even if you do talk to colleagues is doesn't always mean anything other than being friendly.
Probably not the best idea to pursue this one, it's work, best to keep it professional, even if something did happen, if you were ever to split, it makes it awkward. Just appreciate looking at him but find another crush, maybe OLD?
if either of you leave the company you could offer to keep in touch..

cookiecreampie · 26/03/2021 14:20

Why do you think he's not interested in you? If I thought someone wasn't interested, I wouldn't be trying to figure anything out, I'd just leave it. Some men won't want to date a woman with kids, some will.

Happycat1212 · 26/03/2021 14:26

Yes there are men that don’t date women with kids so I don’t think anyone can say yes or no to that (there is also women that don’t want to date men with kids) sounds like he is not interested anyway?

Isitsixoclockalready · 26/03/2021 17:41

@Happycat1212

Or maybe doesn't like the idea of getting involved with someone at work. Could be either - or both. Tbf I couldn't see any harm in OP striking up a conversation and seeing how it went.

HollowTalk · 26/03/2021 17:53

But why would she strike up a conversation with a man who doesn't want to talk to her?

TheVolturi · 26/03/2021 18:02

Some men are awkward and embarrassed though so he might actually like you. Are you attractive?

MarshmallowAra · 26/03/2021 18:21

If you get the feeling he's not interested, he's probably not interested, sorry.

Original poster

Mumoftwo02 · 26/03/2021 18:33

Ok that's fair enough I can deal with that, it's just a crush. I have maybe done something to piss him off as he will talk to everyone else, or else I'm not likeable at all.

OP posts:

ivfbabymomma1 · 26/03/2021 18:39

I worked with my now husband and he acted really uninterested and now we are married. His reasoning was he secretly liked me but tried to act professional as he was my manager & he came across very cold at first. So you never know!!!

cookiecreampie · 26/03/2021 19:37

It doesn't mean you're not likeable if one person doesn't like you. Don't put yourself down over one guy.

Bluntness100 · 26/03/2021 19:43

If he’s making it clear he’s not interested op the overwhelming odds are he is not. I mean if he doesn’t even want to talk to you.

Yeah single guys with no kids are interested in women with kids. Attraction is about the individual

It does not make you unlikeable or that you’ve pissed him off. He’s allowed to just not be interested.

Original poster

Mumoftwo02 · 26/03/2021 20:44

That is fair enough if hes if interested. I'm a grown woman I can deal with that.

If I've made it sound like I try to have conversations with this man, I also make no effort to talk to him as I'm shy around men. I just admire from a distance.

OP posts:

Bluntness100 · 26/03/2021 22:20

Well you can try talking to him op.

MadMadMadamMim · 26/03/2021 22:28

I would think that if you have a massive crush on him and get the feeling he doesn't want to talk to you then he's noticed and is trying to show he's not interested.

Single mum, 2 kids, co-worker - it's probably not top of most single guys' wish list. It has the potential to be awkward at work if things go wrong.

WarmKitty · 26/03/2021 22:45

Well, if he speaks to everyone except you then he might be nervous of you which means he might fancy you. Maybe he isn't sure about dating a colleague or your relationship status so is trying to avoid getting involved.

I think in your position I'd probably try to approach him and make a little passing comment. Hopefully in a non-Bridget Jones way, which is probably what would happen in my case but got to be worth a try.

Good luck!

Original poster

Mumoftwo02 · 26/03/2021 22:45

@MadMadMadamMim thank you, you're most likely right.

OP posts:

Happycat1212 · 26/03/2021 22:49

I don’t like the thing of telling people if someone isn’t nice to them or ignores them it means they secretly like them. It’s a bit like in the past when telling girls if a boy is rude to them it means they fancy them, it’s perfectly possible he just doesn’t like the op for whatever reason. Just leave it.

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