When does it progress from casual to something more

[Shaz786o]

11 months in with boyfriend, see each other once a week, no contact between except arranging to see each other. I feel quite lonely even more than when I was single. I have said to him are you after something long term and he says yes but it all feels a bit like Groundhog Day.

Suppose it’s different for everyone as long as you’re both happy.

Oh sod it I can’t be arsed

I've had this, felt more lonely 'with' him than not.

Not nice is it, I wouldn't bother looking back.

Really, from day one we talked each evening for ages, I moved in after 5 months (hastened by lockdown). If he's not wanting more contact after 10 months I would question if he wants a full relationship

What do you do once a week? If it’s sex, he might just be meeting for that. If he’s into you, he’d miss you in between and want to talk and check in with you. After this much time, there’s no momentum and would call it a day myself personally

How much time do you spend together on that one day? Is it an evening or weekend arrangement?
I suggest taking the initiative instead of complaining about it. I did the latter and it didn't work. Suggest meeting on an evening, or instigate text conversations.
I agree with intimacy not developing with such little contact so if he doesn't respond I would walk.

I think if you had kids this would be OK, as its harder to progress, but I would expect some 'chat' by message or calls between seeing each other.

As neither have kids I can't see what's stopping you from meeting more often, unless one doesn't drive or something?

As PP say, there's nothing wrong with your set up, but doesn't sound like it's enough for you.

A relationship progresses when both parties want it to. It doesn’t sound as if he wants to increase contact ... I’d interpret the ‘Groundhog Day’ comment to imply that he’s bored and may be off soon. There is an old saying to the effect that you can tell if they want to be there, because they’ll be there - you don’t mention any physical obstacles such as long-distance.

Who’s putting the effort in? Is he always the guest? I’ve been in this situation, but I’ve always called it FWB. Groups of six allowed next week, will you be meeting each other’s friends? Keeping in touch would not cut it for me if he’s just watching telly on the other side of town.

@Lovedove mainly evenings, now and then an afternoon together. The thing is I’m rapidly losing my feelings for him, is this normal? I feel awful about that, there’s nobody else it’s just I ‘feel single’.

Can you have a chat with him and tell him how you feel? I think if no change then it’s best to call it a day

Yes I think it normal to lose feelings if the level of contact just isn't enough for you, it wouldn't be for me either, I would want some sort of communication through messaging in the evening or a phone call, there should be plenty to want to say to the right person.
Be honest and tell him how you feel.

Just tell him you're not feeling it anymore, no need to go deeply into it as he didn't get deeply involved.

Just end it. You deserve so much better OP. No way I would have allowed this scenario to drag on for 11 weeks, let alone 11 months!! It's not meeting your needs and if he was keen on you/the relationship he simply wouldn't be satisfied with just contacting to arrange meet ups. Why do some women allow themselves to be strung along like naive children when it's so obvious?? A man just has to spew a few nice words then they believe him like a gullible child even though his actions contradict what he's saying

Well it’s not always the black and white when emotions are involved. I agree with what you’re saying though.

I have told him that I don’t feels as if this is a relationship, he disagrees and says it will grow. I suppose I held onto that.

Ugh typos sorry.