Help me to move on

[givemesun]

Hello all,

I was with DC (1 child) dad for many years. He was very abusive. Two years ago, he assaulted me and I sustained a broken nose, black eye and bruising to my thigh. That was the final straw. I took it to court and he got convicted-- he has to attend community service and partake in a domestic violence perpetrator course for a couple of months.

I was finally getting on, I got a new job, being happy for DC, taking hobbies online. But yesterday, my ex's mum put a photo up of my ex, his new friend and their baby and congratulated them on their new addition. She quickly removed the post once she knew I was online on FB. I just felt numb when I heard, i didn't break down crying but nor was I happy. I feel a bit down and feel very sorry for my DC who has no relationship with his father and I doubt my ex would fight to see him.

I thought I moved on. Clearly I haven't. I want to keep looking forward, but her post just put me right back to square 1. How can I move on- especially for the sake of DC?

Oh op you have moved on. Being shaken up by seeing something like this is natural. It doesn't mean you're back at square one, it just means you're human.

Could you adjust your settings so you dont see what she posts in future? Assuming she is a good grandma and normally a nice person to you? (Otherwise I'd block and delete her).

Also, your kid now has a half brother/sister. So at some point down the line you might have to facilitate contact between them. The dad doesn't need to be involved of course. But you can hold off for a few years there anyway as they're too young to know any better. And hopefully the new girl will see him for what he is and drop his sorry ass soonish anyway.

In the mean time, come off Facebook. It's not doing you any favors.

Thank you

I agree with @Wanderlusto - I think you've had a totally normal reaction, and actually it sounds like you're very strong and have coped really well after a very traumatic event.

Definitely "hide" your ex-P's mum on Facebook so you don't see any more posts. And keep going as you are - this is a bump in the road; you're doing brilliantly