To think this is the final straw?

[HarleyQuinn21]

Hi,

I've been with DH for five years and married three and apart from this the relationship is pretty good but I'm at the end of my tether.

At the beginning of our relationship I was playing on his phone and went on his Reddit app to find a lot of porn posted by "normal people" who you could message etc and I told him I wasn't comfortable with that as to me it was too much like cheating but I didn't mind mainstream porn (only recently learnt how unethical it really is) and then a few weeks later found him on it again so we had a massive row and basically it happens every year, same issue but I've turned a blind eye to it as I thought everything else was okay even though it's clear he doesn't respect me or my feelings.

Today has been a real kicker, I was searching for oak nursery furniture and onlyfans came up (he obviously forgot to delete his history) so I googled the girl and lo and behold she has a porn Reddit page and the best bit is he accessed it the day before my dad's funeral .. this is it, isn't it? It's clear he doesn't care about me or my feelings so I should just leave him to it and ltb but I have an eight week old baby and no where to go. I feel sick.

He isn’t going to stop, and he doesn’t even care that you find out because you keep staying.

You either need to leave or accept it, those are your only two choices because he will not change.

First things first, you don't have to do anything immediately, you have time to make a plan so you don't end up high and dry. You can decide now that it's over and still take your time to get all the information and advice you need before you actually do anything, so you're in the best position you can be when you actually split. What's your situation with housing, rent or mortgage and in whose name? And do you work?

@Weirdfan

First things first, you don't have to do anything immediately, you have time to make a plan so you don't end up high and dry. You can decide now that it's over and still take your time to get all the information and advice you need before you actually do anything, so you're in the best position you can be when you actually split. What's your situation with housing, rent or mortgage and in whose name? And do you work?

Mortgage in both our names and yes part time at the moment as I'm a full time student too. You're right I shouldn't be too hasty and get my ducks in a row, I'm just so angry and stupid.

You're not stupid, angry yes and rightly so but not stupid. You wanted him to step up and be the man he pretended to be before you found out the first time, and he's kept promising to do just that so it's understandable you stayed. There comes a point where it's obvious they're not going to change and you've recognised that's where you are now with this latest discovery, nothing stupid about any of that so stop beating yourself up please. This is all him, he caused it and he failed to fix it on numerous occasions, none of it is your fault.

You’re not stupid. None of this is your fault OP

He's the stupid one, about to lose his family for a few cheap thrills.
Complete twat.. make all your plans before saying goodbye to this idiot.

Sorry but what actually is Reddit? I found my boyfriend had been subscribing to only fans about a year ago we talked about it he stopped etc
Then he got a notification the other day n he said ' oh it's Reddit I don't use it I only downloaded it for the news '
I had my suspicions as I've never heard of Reddit before is only fans/Reddit linked??

@louisehall

Sorry but what actually is Reddit? I found my boyfriend had been subscribing to only fans about a year ago we talked about it he stopped etc Then he got a notification the other day n he said ' oh it's Reddit I don't use it I only downloaded it for the news ' I had my suspicions as I've never heard of Reddit before is only fans/Reddit linked??

They're not linked no but it can be used completely innocently or you can use it for real life porn (like onlyfans but free) so you can message the girls and what not.