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It’s awkward between us now and I don’t know what to do!!

15 replies

Totesgoats11 · 24/03/2021 10:45

I’m seeing a guy who was an old friend. He hit me up about some mutual art things I had posted about.
I was casually seeing someone else before he came along. I’d always had a bit of a crush on this guy so I was really excited to hear from him. He asked me out and I was immediately honest about the other guy, it didn’t seem to bother him. Went out and it was super lovely, he kissed me before we left. He asked me out again a couple of days later, and then again. It’s been about a month of seeing each other, I told him I want to take things slow and he has seemed super keen (looking back tho I kept making jokes to him that we were just friends nothing more, he seemed kinda bothered). In fact the last time I saw him I mentioned I was grateful that he hasn’t pushed to have sex yet and all he said was “you set the pace for this”.
The thing that is stressing me out is things have suddenly got awkward. Ever since we started talking he has been sparatic at texting, so consistently sparatic that it didn’t bother me. He has always been so keen to hangout regardless.
However since the last time we hung out he has almost completely stopped messaging me, he texted me last week asking to see me again and I agreed but then yesterday cancelled on me! He did try and reschedule but I was busy. I just casually told him maybe another time and he has not followed up.

I’m happy to admit maybe I have given mixed signals. I like him though and I don’t know how to fix the awkwardness that has grown between us.
I’ve messaged him first a couple of times and he seems not as responsive to what he was.

Should I cut my losses and assume he is not interested, wait for him to message me back at some point or just hit him up myself in a couple of days?

OP posts:
litterbird · 24/03/2021 10:50

Figure out what or who you want and tell him. He is probably a bit confused by your signals. Men need direct communication he cant mind read. If you like him, put your cards on the table.

Marineboy67 · 24/03/2021 10:51

Whats happening with the other Mr Casual guy? Is he aware your casually seeing someone else?

Totesgoats11 · 24/03/2021 10:52

@Marineboy67

Whats happening with the other Mr Casual guy? Is he aware your casually seeing someone else?
Yes! He knew all about the situation. I ended it with him a little bit ago because it just was not working! Casually and otherwise!
OP posts:
BigFatLiar · 24/03/2021 11:25

He may well think that you're busy with someone else.

If you want to continue and see where this leads you need to let him know where he stands.

Have you called him rather than texted?

seensome · 24/03/2021 11:36

He cancelled could of been genuine as he tried to re-arrange but You said maybe another time, that's really off putting and I wouldn't respond to anyone that said that to me, it's a real brush off.
I don't think you are that into him and missing him chasing you.
Find someone that you are really keen on.

BehindMyEyes · 24/03/2021 12:21

You were seeing another guy, you told him you were glad he hadn't pushed for sex yet - what do you really expect ? If you are interested in him tell him you are no longer seeing the other guy , you have enjoyed seeing him and would like to meet up again . Simple and he will either say yes or no .

dontsaveusername · 24/03/2021 12:56

Make up your mind what you do and do not want. He's probably as confused as I am

Quirrelsotherface · 24/03/2021 14:59

Sporadic

CatalinaCasesolver · 24/03/2021 18:37

You're not really giving him many signals that you're keen so I expect he's assuming you're not fussed about him. Agree that 'maybe another time' is vague and sounds like a brush off.

JustAnotherOldMan · 24/03/2021 19:10

As PP says “maybe another time” sounds like a brush off, if your still keen you need to say something along those lines and make a positive arrangement to meet.

MaLarkinn · 24/03/2021 19:14

My god, just pick up the phone and ring him like a grown up!

Aquamarine1029 · 24/03/2021 19:21

My guess is he thinks you're hard work. You've given that impression, honestly. Go for broke and try to smooth things over.

Suzi888 · 24/03/2021 19:26

Maybe he’s seeing someone else, presuming this relationship is going nowhere.

LivBa · 25/03/2021 04:58

The most concerning thing about your post OP is that you mention you're "grateful that he hasn’t pushed to have sex yet". Your boundaries are very skewed if you think that's something to be "grateful" for and you normally continue seeing men who push you for sex. You should be the one setting the pace for any relationship/dating, and only doing what you are comfortable with.

EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 25/03/2021 06:38

I was going to mention the "grateful for no sex" thing to.

If someone I was dating said that after a month, I would assume either
a) they are still dealing with a sexual trauma, and I am not qualified to help with that, or,
b) they are just not very interested in sex in general, or with me in particular

and I would probably withdraw. I would not want a romantic relationship with someone whose sex drive wasn't aligned with mine (or didn't have a sufficient sexual attraction to me), because it would be hurtful for both of us.

Maybe this relationship would be better dialled back to a friendship?

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