Have I been stupid

[Eew2007]

So swiped right on a bloke I fancied in school on tinder, after a few weeks of talking met up dtd about a month ago (not my usual guarded self). We decided to be fwb met a few times since mainly twice a week, no staying over. I picked him up drunk on Saturday as he was stuck down his friends - covid police stay away. I asked him what the situation was if we we’re allowed to see other people etc he said he’s not.

So his dog was taken ill last Tuesday with brain damage, he explained more on Saturday why he’s been a bit hetic. Since then I’ve barley heard off him, normally quick to reply but isn’t. I Asked to meet up tonight and he said she’s on too many tablet so he can’t. I’ve never had a dog so don’t understand.

Have I been completely stupid to think he wouldn’t see anyone else or do dogs really get ill. Can’t believe I let my guard down!

Completely pull back. Go no contact and see what he does next. Very rarely does FWB lead any where.

I don’t want it to lead anywhere tbh just casual, if that makes sense. So he replied tonight saying sorry he couldn’t make it shes ill. So I said no worries we’ll meet next time we’re both free and then he replied cheers. I know his dog was ill but I can’t tell if he’s lying. Or am I sounding silly

May I add I’ve never had a fwb but wanted to set the rules with him so we’re clear. I’m clueless on how often we should speak etc

Of course dogs get ill, and owners love them very much, it would be like leaving an I'll child. Don't assume the worst for this reason.

If you only want fwb, just carry on as you are, sounds like you're more invested though and just pretending to yourself that you only want fwb.

Well I suppose if it’s a fwb what are you worrying about? I don’t mean that in a horrible way it’s just I suppose just see him when his dog is better?

I only have the two same nights free a week - childcare issues. I guess I like to plan things. Plus we’re meant to be going to a hotel this weekend but nothings been said about it. Our lockdown restrictions are easing

It's casual so keep it that way, that means not having plans, not worrying if you see or hear from him in a while, it's not a relationship where you have rules.

Thanks all. I guess I’m so used to having plans - nothing exciting just cleaning or other mundane things during lockdown. I just want to know what’s happening.

I thought FWB was supposed to be fun and hassle free without the thinking and worrying?

As mentioned I’ve never done this before and he’s aware of that and my life eg what days I’m free etc.

Yeah leave it and move on, get back on tinder. If he messages you again take it from there but sounds like he may have lost interest. I’m an avid believer of “actions speak louder than words”...

@Teenagerwillbethedeathofme I never came off tinder haha I know he’s still on there I just feel stupid for letting my guard down for once!

His dog is not ill.

I don’t think his dog is I’ll.

However IF it is I’ll I can see him not wanting to leave it. My dog had a seizure Saturday and I’ve been so distraught that I’ve slept in the family room with her every night since the seizure AND I’ve set my alarm to go off every hour so I can check on her.

So in your case I would give him space but keep looking on tinder, he will come back around if he’s interested

I think you're over investing. Is a FWB what you really want?

Covid police stay away ! So even though it's a public forum those who are following rules, being responsible and sacrificing precious time with families aren't allowed to comment .

On the actual point of your thread, if his dog is ill I can perfectly understand why he wouldn't be able to leave her. I wouldn't leave my very ill, medicated dog alone for a quick bunk up either.

But on another note, this is a FWB situation so dont even give it a 2nd thought. It doesn't require analysing. He's got other things going on. There maybe times further down the line where you have other plans and aren't available for a meet up. It's not a big deal. If it is, then this current arrangement isn't going to end well for you.

covid police stay away. I asked him what the situation was if we we’re allowed to see other people etc he said he’s not.

Lol.

If you don't want to be treated casually then don't agree to an fwb situation or you could get hurt .

There is no set rules for how often you talk etc but generally a fwb relationship will be mainly centred around meeting for sex and maybe sexy messages etc in between.
Never do an fwb hoping for the other person to change their mind.
He sees you as good enough for sex only. Nothing else. He doesn't want a relationship with you. You're just there for him while we're in lockdown.
You're happy to meet him during lockdown whenever he wants a shag, lots of women are not doing this.
When we get back to mixing again he will have a lot more options so you either enjoy it for now knowing it's going nowhere or dump him and take some time to really consider what type of relationship you want.
Do you want a boyfriend or have time for a boyfriend or do you just want casual sex with someone regularly until either of you finds someone better?