Having regular haunting nightmares about my family

[AlPacino]

I don’t know what to do.

I am NC with my family following a nervous breakdown about my childhood (verbally abusive, violent).

Recently I’ve started having awful dreams. There are a lot where I’m stuck living in my childhood home and trying to reach social services so they will help me, but I can’t escape. In others I’m planning to get a council flat so I can leave on my own.

Last night’s one was particularly awful. I dreamt I was at my grandparent’s house (my childhood sanctuary). In real life they both died recently, but in the dream my Grandad had justchoked to death and grandma was near death, walking around the house looking dreadful. I had forgotten to pick my kids up from school and the school rang me to say that because I hadn’t come my children were going to be put into care. I was driving to the school while wailing in horror.

I know they’re just dreams but they really distress me and cause a lot of upset.

I’ve been feeling very depressed lately and bleak.

I feel silly saying to the dr that I’m having these nightmares.

Bump

Oh luv. I have no relevant experience here but it isn't silly at all. It seems like a very valid reason to see the doctor. Without playing too much of an armchair psychologist I imagine that the passing of your grandparents has triggered this. No doubt lockdown doesn't help. You clearly have PTSD (no expert but it seems very clear cut) and there are people who are trained to help with that. They will not think you are silly since you are the very reason those iobs exist.

*jobs. I hope someone with more insight than me will he along soon xxx

Bad dreams are often indicative of stress in everyday life. In this case it sounds like they are contributing to a cycle.

It might be worth taking talking to professional about your past but is there anything besides thoughts of the past that is causing you stress right now? And contributing to the depression too perhaps?

I’m constantly fearing that I’m not a good enough mum and that I will somehow leave him traumatised.

I also hate my job, it’s very stressful and I’m trying to leave.

Also it sounds like a standard anxiety dream.

I'd suggest getting out for a walk every day and taking up something like yoga or mindfulness. Running or dancing until you break a sweat regularly might help too.

That and of course, removing the stressors from your life as much as pos.

Betting once you find a new job, it'll get a lot easier! But don't be slow to ask for help. That's what the gp is there for afterall, they wont judge.

A lot of people are reporting similar due to lockdown. I've had quite bad vivid dreams also. It can be a symptom of stress or anxiety. It would be worth a visit to.the GP x

It sounds as though it would really help you to talk to a counsellor. Does your local surgery allow you to access it without an appointment?

I’ll speak to me GP then, thank you for the reassurance that it wouldn’t be daft. I’ll ring and say I’m having flashbacks and nightmares and need some help with it.

EMDR therapy really helped me to process my childhood trauma. It was unlike anything I've ever done and a year on, even during lockdown my anxiety & depression are mainly under control.

Ptsd? Recurrent nightmares can stem from this. Good luck op.

Yes I’ve been told I’ve got PTSD before.

I have these nearly every night. Along with seeing people in my room. It’s horrible.

It can be a sign of unresolved trauma and therapy can really help! If you google your area’s IAPT service you can usually self refer for an assessment for therapy.

The charity Stand Alone were very helpful to me re family estrangement too. I attended some support groups.

Samaritans are always there to ring and chat to, you don’t need to be suicidal. Far from it.

Hope you get the help you need ❤️

@LavenderLollies funny you should mention Stabdalone, I’ve been looking at their social media. Did you attend via zoom or in person?

It was in person a few years ago, I was lucky to live near one of the cities they ran sessions in. I wouldn’t personally have wanted to bother with anything online.