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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Leaving and child custody

1 reply

usernameisthrowaway · 23/03/2021 14:51

I've been with DH for 10 years and he keeps saying he wants to have a child but putting it off. In a year of me asking it's gone from TTC in Dec, to Feb, to potentially April to 'we'll know when it's right.'

Our relationship has suffered not just because of this and he says the unhappiness is a reason he wants to wait - but I feel very much like this is caused by him prevaricating. Husband is also moody and hasn't worked for some time. We have a DS 2 who he looks after one day a week.

I am now 34 and feel like I am running out of time and not having a second child is hurting my career. I have said I plan to leave if this isn't decided and I do, but I will stay if there's a chance I won't get majority custody of our DS. Has anyone gone through this and has any resources? I feel desperate but it's so hard to arrange a legal consultation with my full time job and son, and he is always in the house.

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 23/03/2021 15:01

There are lots of different things going on here.

You’ve jumped from he won’t agree to ttc yet - fair enough with a two year old, down to one income and you’re obviously unhappy - to planning who’ll get residency (not custody) of your child if you chuck him?

What else is wrong apart from his hesitancy to ttc that you’re thinking of leaving him?

Why’s he only looking after DS one day a week if he’s not working?

Why’s he not working and is he looking for a job?

Can you afford to live on your salary and support another child?

How is not having another child hurting your career? Never heard of that one before.

What if you leave him and don’t meet someone to have another child with?

You’re not old or running out of time but you sound confused and quite dramatic.

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