Relate counselling - what to expect

[Mozartrequiem]

Dh and I are having a relate counselling session tomorrow, as we are at a very difficult point in our relationship. I have, historically, minimised my reaction to a lot of his behaviours which, cumulatively over the years, ended up in me reaching breaking point a few months ago. I haven’t been able to talk to him about why I suddenly can’t cope any more as it just feels so huge, and he’s just going to say ‘well why didn’t you tell me at the time?’

I am hoping that having a counsellor there (albeit virtually) will mean I can explain how I’ve been feeling. But I’m terrified, not only for the session but for how we are going to live under the same roof for a whole week till the next one (assuming they are weekly) after I’ve said all of this stuff.

What have other people’s experiences been?

Hi, just wondering how you got on with this? I've been looking to book this for me and my DH. Similar to you I feel so overwhelmed and I don't feel like I can cope but my DH reacts to any emotional outburst by making it all about him and how I react badly (if that matters sense). Anyway, did it go ok? Would you recommend it? Are you having weekly sessions?

I also wonder how you got on @Mozartrequiem? We have our first relate session tomorrow. Like you, it’s been a long time coming, but DH does understand why we need it.

We had the first session today. It an assessment, to check that we were suitable for actual counselling. It was draining emotionally, but actually not as bad as I thought it would be (I was envisaging us walking out wanting a divorce)

I think because we both realise we need to do this, even though we don’t want to, and because we were honest in our answers - although it was draining it did feel like a small step in the right direction. The counsellor was very good, she knew what to ask and when to ask it.

We now need to wait a few weeks or so until there is a regular weekly slot that we can both do.

I’m still nervous about the outcome of the longer term counselling but actually, although it was emotionally knackering, this first appointment was ok.

Well done @Mozartrequiem, it’s a massive step. We’ve been thinking about couples counselling for two years so I underhand what significance it can hold. I’m pleased you felt it was constructive.