I know there are a few similar threads at the moment but I didn’t want to hijack them. I really need some objective advice please. Married 17 years together 22, 3 children 16,16,12. Marriage has been difficult for a long time. Lack of trust started with him running up debts, hiding them from me and lying about money. I’ve paid off credit cards etc for him over the years. About 5 years ago I found he’d been going on chat rooms as ‘unhappily married’ talking to other women. Confronted him and he denied it. I also found he’d been cross dressing when away for work. Not sure exactly what he was up to as again wouldn’t speak to me about it. We have not had sex for 4 years, very little for 10. He now sleeps permanently in the sofa after stopping coming to bed about 18 months ago. Our marriage is functional, a bit of sniping and bickering but I’m over arguing or trying to change things. I was ready to separate in January and then the schools closed again and it paralysed me. I’m really worried about the affect separation would have on my older children who are in the middle of A levels. In my heart I know it’s over but I can’t decide what to go for the best. He thinks everything is fine. Financially I don’t work at the moment and an worried. I gave up my job as it was very high pressured and was missing the children grow up. My family have offered to help financially until I get back in my feet. What would you do?