I'm worrying about sex ...

[cheryyydd]

I had such the bad break up with my ex a year ago and haven't dated anyone since.
I've been talking to someone I met on tinder.
We have been speaking for 3 weeks and on Sunday we are meeting for a coffee and beach walk.
I'm scared.
I like him and we get on but I really don't want to rush into things.
I'm worrying if it goes well he will want sex in a few more meetings and I'm not ready.
I want to get to know someone first.
I feel like cancelling because I'm not ready for sex

Op take a breath. No need to cancel and no need to do anything you don't want to do. If a time comes, in the future, where sex is initiated, then you simply tell him you're not ready yet. Enjoy yourself and stop over thinking

If he's a decent man he won't expect sex until you are ready. It was after the 8th date for me when I felt that I'd got to know my partner enough & felt comfortable. It wasn't an issue.
Explain to him that you want to get to know him properly because you want more in the relationship than sex. Enjoy your date's and relax

It doesn’t matter when he wants sex. It matters when both of you do.

I don't think your ready to date if you are worrying about being presured into sex. Your not ready for sex yet, so that should mean your not going to have sex, there shouldn't be any internal dialogue that says 'I don't want to have sex yet, but hw might want to and that worries me you should be confident in your own boundaries and your voice before you decide to date someone.

I think you're worrying about something that doesn't need worrying about, at least yet. You've never actually met this man so there's every chance the chemistry won't translate to real life or you don't feel any spark in person (or he doesn't). I think see how the first date goes and take it from there. If you go on to have more dates and you like each other, he should be happy to wait until you are ready, assuming that's not in 2 years time!

I think you should take each date as it comes OP. But explain from the outset and openly that you need to feel connected to someone and in a position to trust them before having sex.
Most men would accept that and if they become keen on you they will wait. If they just want a hook up they may not stick around.

That said, if you come across as neurotic about sex, or see at as something you give without feeling desire, rather than something you want to share together, then it might put them off - and not unreasonably.

I think it's important not to put too much expectation on sex - it could all be perfect and you choose to trust someone only for it to all go wrong on the twelfth date, or the twentieth or after six months being married.
I suspect what you are saying OP is that you don't yet feel strong enough to cope with the prospect of what if it goes wrong? Most of the advice here says you need a bit of a thick skin on the dating scene- I don't know.