Sick of him twisting everything I say

[Brabarella]

It makes me feel like I’m going crazy , no matter how much he is in the wrong he twists it that I’m at fault and I think he genuinely believes that. We have 2 children and he does nothing around the house I’m exhausted and my mental health isn’t great. Told him today I was feeling suicidal to be told you’ve been suicidal for years just go and kill yourself then. I get that dealing with other peoples mental health is boring but tbh I never bring it up , I have been suicidal for years I attempted it at 15 but usually I just try and get on with things . I just feel so low and that no one cares if my partner of 15 years doesn’t care then who does

Brabarella don't give up. Im in the same shoes as you hun.
With a man who has controlled my entire life for 15 years. We have 2 small kids together and my eyes are beginning to open up so much as to how this will affect them. That its made me finally realise I need to get away for their sake and my own. I dont want them to see mummy sad & crying or mummy unable to take them certain places as my partner forbids it. Its got harder now that my oldest has stated to ask can we do this, can we go there and instead of immediately saying yes to him I have to sit and question what will dh say. What will I have to deal with if I take them here. Its usually a good telling off and silent treatment for days on end other than the odd words basically telling me a bad mother without actually saying it. Sick of the mind games. This time last year I was that low I took myself off at 4am and almost ended my life... The thought of leaving my children with this man is what stopped me and the thought of leaving them without a mother. They are my little lights of hope and joy and you're children are too.
Please dont leave them without their mum.
The right people will & do care. You're partner is just pushing buttons. We can get out of this. We can be happy again. Just not here on this relationship with this type of toxicity. You are a good person and no one deserves this type of treatment, I wouldnt even wish it on my worst enemy. Its a dark road to travel with emotional abusers but we are NOT alone. YOU are not alone.

Please speak to your GP.. Telling that twat sensitive info isn't a good idea. He may try to use it against you if you split.. Take care of yourself. Ime it's time to make future plans for being without him.

Your mental health would improve tenfold without this nasty, gaslighting asshole in your life.

Start making plans to leave him. Speak with womens aid and start looking into the practicalities of living separately. Citizens advice might be useful, as might a solicitor and checking how much you would get in child support.

Don't be slow to speak to your gp about your mental health either, that's what they are there for.

But yeah, defo time to get rid of your nasty partner.

Your first port of call should be making an appointment with your doctor ASAP, so please do this. As for your OH, is he like this often, if so this isn't a great enviroment for your children or you to be in. Do you have family you could stay with for a bit, just to get out of that toxic atmosphere?

Thank you for being kind.
There’s no point going to the GP I’m already on the highest dose of anti depressants

@Brabarella

Thank you for being kind. There’s no point going to the GP I’m already on the highest dose of anti depressants

If even that isn't working then its definately worth looking at external sources.

Ie: removing dickheads from your life.

Although I think his reaction is very insensitive and unacceptable, I do think that from his perspective it’s probably very hard to deal with someone with that level of depression.

My sister had a boyfriend who would bring up his depression/suicidal moments to guilt trip her at times. I don’t think he realised he was doing it, but in hindsight my sister realised it was a form of emotional abuse and manipulation. I’m not saying this is what you are doing. I just think that from the other persons perspective it can be hard when you have a partner with MH issues. Because the partner can feel hopeless and become exhausted with it all.

That being said, there’s no excuse for him to pull his weight around the house. Do you both work full time?

theres no excuse for him to not* pull his weight

I work part time (with my 2 year old the other days ) and he work full time shifts but had been on annual leave for 2 weeks and still done nothing.
I completely understand it must be draining but being completely honest I hardly ever mention how I feel because of how he reacts .

Really sorry you feel this way OP, have you got any other support from family or friends? Or maybe there’s local support groups that could help

My family don’t live locally. I’ve got friends but don’t like to bother them , especially as some don’t like him anyway

He doesnt sound likable tbh.

Why are you with him?
I dont mean that in a sarcastic way I genuinely mean why are you with him. What positives does he bring to your life and your children's life?

@Brabarella

Thank you for being kind. There’s no point going to the GP I’m already on the highest dose of anti depressants

There's plenty of point. You tell the GP about what he's doing to you.

@Brabarella

Thank you for being kind. There’s no point going to the GP I’m already on the highest dose of anti depressants

They don't just help with medication though, they can signpost you to support services too. Please do go and see them, even if just to have a safe place to discuss how you're feeling and what may help.

OP, telling friends and family is the starting point. People who care about you will help you. Please don’t give up.