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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

need to talk

1 reply

IamAporcupine · 21/03/2021 22:32

I have been very unhappy in my marriage for many many years now. He checked out of the relationship slowly after we got married and then more after DS (now 9) was born. He was hardly involved in the hard side of parenting, and left me feeling abandoned too many a times.

A few years ago, I started to feel my marriage was over, felt extremely deppressed, cried myself to sleep every night and had suicidal thoughs for the first and only time in my life.

I tried to talk to him many times, even suggested counselling, but the arguments always escalated and the communication was lost. I still carried on though, looked after DS and tried to support DH in some difficult situations.

I grew away more and more, but I still could not fully admit that amybe now I wanted to be out of the relationship.

As it happens, during the pandemic I reconnected with an old friend. He is also in an unhappy relationship so understood each other very well. We confided a lot, and started to feel very close emotionally. It became quite intense.

DH found out yesterday.

I was expecting the hell to break loose but the opposite happened. He finally listened to me and acknowledged his fault in all of this. He says he is very annoyed for having let me go, and more or less begged me to give him another opportunity and to try to fix things up.

I said yes, but I do not know if it is too late for me now. I am very confused and can't think/feel straight. Part of me wants to shout why the fuck this had to happened for you to realise?!

I do not know what I want from this post.

OP posts:
Heartofgoldmumof2 · 21/03/2021 22:36

Is he willing to go you counselling with you? You do need to tell him that - perhaps not In those exact words. But you both have so much to address. It’s good that he was calm and he listened.

I would be wary to getting involved with someone who is also in an unhappy relationship. If you want to work on it you should be taking to to your DH not the other guy.

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