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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Am i wrong to want to see if the grass is greener?

9 replies

sarah8484 · 21/03/2021 09:26

My parter and I of 13 years split up last year for 3 months. We split because i was fed up of feeling like a single mum. We barely communicated. So i moved out. In those 3 months he met and got someone else pregnant, he acted like a single man during those months, taking his new gf on trips, drinking, partying. All while only seeing his children bare minimum. He split from gf and we rekindled our relationship. Mainly because my heart was broke and i so desperately wanted it fixed. It has to a certain extent. I act like were ok but im sad. He's all ive ever know. My first and only proper relationship. Im angry he lived this life without giving me and my children a second thought. He got to experience being with someone else, to see if someone can make him happier than me. Am i a bad person to also want to see if someone else can make me happier. Its not about sex, its not you slept with someone else so i want to. What if theres someone out there who is willing to make more time for me, someone who can make me happy again. I love him but i hate him. Im sad and don't feel like he's doing much to try and change it.

OP posts:
Forachange77 · 21/03/2021 11:51

No you're not wrong to get out of this toxic relationship, and the grass being greener can also mean being happy and independent on your own as well. You can do so much better than this man. He sounds awful!

Rosieredapples · 21/03/2021 11:52

He sounds awful. Get out of the relationship and I'm pretty sure you will find the grass is greener anywhere compared to what he was bringing to the relationship.

InFiveMins · 21/03/2021 11:53

Leave him and find someone new. Pretty sure in your case the grass will be greener.

ShesMadeATwatOfMePam · 21/03/2021 11:56

Get rid of him and find a decent man.

seensome · 21/03/2021 12:04

It would be more wrong not to move on.
Too much happened when you split for it to ever be fixed, spend some time on your own if you need to then absolutely start fresh with someone new.

joystir59 · 21/03/2021 12:06

Why not come out of the relationship and be single for a while?

ravenmum · 21/03/2021 12:13

I think you needed to give it a bit more time to get used to being alone, OP. You got back together with him without getting to the point where you were over the split. Once you start to feel better about breaking up, the grass when you are an actual single mum can be a lot greener than being lonely IN a relationship.

Did you get together very young? Never lived independently?

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 21/03/2021 12:13

Any grass would be greener! Honestly you need to handle being alone first and then you will be able to recognise a decent man- a crap father who can’t use contraception isn’t worth hanging around for

hashbrownsandwich · 21/03/2021 12:17

This is so messed up. Why did you get back with him honestly?
You need to split for good, make specific and clear arrangement for the children and finances.
Focus on you and your children and when the time is right you may meet someone else.
Staying with him just to avoid being alone is insanity.

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