Thankfully im out (sort of). I have been for a few years now. The relationship was for 15yrs and only became toxic in the last few. He was physically violent and the rest. When we split I was pregnant so found it very difficult to just cut ties. He is still a massive part of our lives (nothing intimate) but most other aspects hes there, I tell myself this is because its whats best for our kids but in my heart I know this is not true. He is very abusive in a manner of different ways, he is very much narcissistic, including being emotionally abusive with the kids. He has been inconsistent with them also. I try to set boundaries constantly and when he is not getting his own way he becomes hell to deal with. He literally drains my soul. I love him dearly (I feel like a fool) although definitely not in love! Hes the father of my children after all and all ive ever known in my life. Im such a push over! He has one major hold over me that I want out of, we own our house together, he dosent live here, he hasn't for 3 yrs, he dosent contribute financially to the house or to the kids (believes he dosent need to as the government pay for them as i get child benefit - his words). I suppose im OK with this, I provide everything our kids need, I work, he does not, he did when we were together! Ive asked him numerous times to settle things with the house but he refuses, he dosent want to sell as its the kids home but refuses for me to buy him out. Every conversation about this ends drastically. He's now saying settle in court which essentially means we will have to sell anyway. I don't care what happens to be honest I just want out of this joint ownership. In the current climate the lawyer has advised it will be over a year before we could get a date. Now in the meantime I have to live with him coming and going when he sees fit, he continuously vandalises the house, is abusive to me in front of our kids, depends and expects a lot from me financially. On the most part I just agree and do what he says for an easy life, I enable his abusive behaviour and I don't know how to get out. Im emontially drained, im exhausted and misreable. Im becoming a shit mum, im constantly stressed and walking on egg shells, ive become that mum thats always shouting and I have no motivation. I feel like I should just stop paying the mortgage and wait for the bank to take the house. Please tell me i have other options x