ive had enough and im leaving

[starshaker]

i have told dh that im leaving. he is begging me to stay etc but im going to stay with my friend for a few days to sort my head out and decided what to do. it all kicked off when he got home last night and i told him was a selfish bastard he was and how i only mattered to him when it suited him.

Have I missed a thread about your problems???
Why is he so selfish??

ok, that is a big step

do you have a plan? if you want to sort things out in your head , might be a good idea to not have any contact with your DH for a couple of days, so you can think clearly

does he understand why you are leaving?

here and here

yeah he says hes sorry and is going to try harder but ive heard it all before. he knows i dont want contact with fim over the weekend and i will come back on monday where we can talk and ill decided what to do from there

I see............so what did happen in the end on your birthday??
I see why that is a major button for you, as it has never been important to anyone, and now it is seemingly unimportant to him. But he did make some effort with the cake before hand.
TBH the cooking text would have me on strike cooking only for me and dd's and not him. Obviously there are other things too.
Do you know yet what you will decide to do . I think taking the weekend away and leaving him in charge of dd is a great idea. Get some you time, really think about what life will be like without him, from every angle and how you will feel about that.

no dd is coming with me could never leave her behind. its just everything if u do a search on my name and relationships u will find enough. i wanty him to realise what i do as he seems to think i sit and watch tv and drink tea all day. im a student im not feeling that great this week so have been at home in pain and doped up to the eyeballs

How long have you been together.
I think with a dd and being a student, homwwork and all you have plety to do as well as watching tv and drinking tea.
What a git.
Is she his dd?? Sorry for personal question, why could you not leave her?? I think the best way for him to see how much you do just looking after dd is to let him do it for a couple of days.

my birthday ended up with me in tears and dh giving me a hug until i said its because of him and then he started shouting cant even remember wha about. i told him he was selfish and let him read a lot of the threads about him on here. he wasnt pleased. i went to bed and this morning i have been getting loads of texts appologising

So you've only just got married too??

If you felt like this why did you marry him?? Not meaning to be harsh, but just curious, did you think he would change??
Cos if you have another baby, I doubt that will change him either, and you will have even more on your plate.

yeah thought he would start to put me first and he did for the first wee while now its back to how it was

Do you think going away for a weekend is enough Starshaker? I would go for at least a week so he has a chance to run out of food, clean clothes and the house is a total mess. He might begin to have some comprehension of what you do then.

I wouldn't leave your DD (I know you said you won't but others have suggested it) - why should she suffer because her father can't get his act together. She needs care and attention and it doesn't sound like she will get it from her father.

Hope your neck is better by the way.

good on you. that's a first step. he doesn't seem to appreciate you at all.