I need to change

[Jennylou88]

I really really don't like who I've become in my relationship. I'm angry, hurtful, bitter. I often feel absolutely furious at my husband over tiny insignificant things and it's so hard to manage these emotions. I don't want to behave this way, I've a 1.5yr old and want him to learn what a healthy positive relationship looks like. Instead I feel like I've become my mother, and I used to hate her for being so nasty to my dad all the time. I've tried to talk to my husband about it, he just says 'that's just the way you are' which is crushing as I've really not always been like this. I don't know why I feel so angry all the time - it's only at my husband too. Has anyone else worked on something similar and had a positive result? I'm thinking of ringing relate in the morning to discuss therapy options just for me initially and then maybe with my husband too. X

Is there a pattern with your moods - perhaps linked to your periods or contraception?

Is there a reason you're angry/bitter with your husband generally?

Have you considered separating and working on your issue while apart?

It sounds like you're recreating your parents relationship.

I personally wouldn't choose Relate, I don't rate them. Certainly therapy or counselling could help, not sure they're your best port of call.

This is a really good article on anger;

beckinstitute.org/seven-steps-anger/

You're bullying your husband. This is abuse. I'm sorry OP but if I were him I would leave you - if only to protect your child. Maybe worth talking to the GP? Not an excuse but I Wonder if it could be linked to hormones?

I've got to change, and I'm so determined to. I think some short term antidepressants might be a good idea whilst I work on myself.
It does definitely get worse before my period is due so I'll mention that to my gp.
I just know that it's time to take a good look in the mirror and do something about it.

Yes definitely time to speak to your GP, it sounds like your low moods are manifesting as anger? It's not fair on your DP but you have recognised it and now you will change it. Good on you for finding the help you need. Therapy will definitely help you, I'm sure a lot more than they would like to admit do these things, but they don't all admit it so the relationship fails. Good luck OP x

OP @Jennylou88 might be worth looking into PMDD as that can cause anger issues.

Have you had your blood pressure checked? High blood pressure can also cause the issues you describe, but is so easily treated. It can also be linked to PMDD.

I sympathise with you. Good luck

A few years ago I was treating my partner in the same way. I had no clue why I was so angry with him over every little thing. I realised coming off my antidepressants might have had something to do with it. So I went back on them and also started therapy. My therapist recommended a book called non-violent communication and it really did help. I’m a lot more mellow and like my old self now.
I know what you’re going through, it’s really hard but the important thing is you’ve recognised it and you want to change. Sending hugs xx

It could be a sign of PNA or depression. Please contact your gp for support.