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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

No Sexual Connection Anymore!

7 replies

LoveActually6 · 19/03/2021 12:59

I don’t really know what I’m hoping to get from this post but maybe your words of wisdom may help me understand my situation. I have been married for a long time, (settled down/married young), over the past few months I have lost any sexual connection or desire to want to have sex with my husband. I love him and don’t know if it’s a blip but I no longer feel that I want to be intimate with him. We’ve had a rocky relationship over the past year which could be contributing to my feelings. We are generally happy otherwise, our children are happy but it’s like I am actively avoiding intimacy.

OP posts:

ThatOtherPoster · 19/03/2021 15:59

How old are you? If you're over 43, it's possibly down to hormonal swings. I'm 49, on HRT, and still have lost a lot of my mojo. See the GP and you can get testosterone cream which is meant to help a lot. Or I briefly got a bit more "oomph" back when I tried an Ayurvedic woman's tonic thing from a health shop.

But it's more likely to be this:

We’ve had a rocky relationship over the past year which could be contributing to my feelings.

In what way "rocky"?

Original poster

LoveActually6 · 19/03/2021 16:07

@ThatOtherPoster - Thanks for your reply, I’m quite a bit younger than that, it’s not that I’ve lost my sex drive, it’s just I feel when we do become intimate, I feel no connection/desire for him.

When things were rocky, we were arguing quite often, not talking much and just became distant from each other. Things are better now but the desire to be intimate with him has gone.

OP posts:

AaSaat · 19/03/2021 17:09

Quite often, but not always of course, there are other underlying issues. If there aren't then maybe see the GP. If there are then a sit down and talk between the two of you would be best after you have clarified your own thoughts.

oohmama · 19/03/2021 17:41

Do you fancy him?

Original poster

LoveActually6 · 20/03/2021 10:33

Yes I still find him attractive but I think we lack sexual chemistry.

OP posts:

Soph32 · 15/06/2021 20:47

I know this post is a few months old now but did you get things sorted? I’m going through similar myself!!

Original poster

LoveActually6 · 02/07/2021 20:45

@Soph32 - Sorry I’ve only just seen this. Not much has changed to be honest. I think we have drifted emotionally and have lost the connection, if I’m honest.

OP posts:

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