Domestic abuse

[Mango87]

Why do my family tell me it’s my fault that I was abused by a man?

How are they saying it was your fault?

I don’t know OP, but what it does mean is they are not deserving of a place in your life

I dont know why your family tell you that. I can tell you why my abusers family said I was to blame...because I kept taking him back ( as abused women often do) and so in their eyes it couldnt have been so bad. And I deserved it for " leading him on" thus winding him up. Oh and that he had MH issues. Plus he told them I was the abuser and victimized him. So I was totally to blame.
Maybe some of these reasons??
What it means for you is that you need toget him out of your life. And those who say it's your fault? Get them out too. Give WA a call,they've heard it all and will tell you you are 100% not to blame. Believe them.

They said I should have left him before but I couldn’t and no one was helping me escape and he was threatening me and told me he would kill me if I told anyone

He’s gone.
I know it’s not my fault because he had threatened me so I couldn’t leave and no one was helping me escape

They are so horrible to me

OP - are you safe now? Do you have friends who are supporting you?

I’m safe now yes

One of my friends was also abused by a man and was violently assaulted in the past so she gets what happened and she is telling me that my family are wrong to treat me the way they do saying they things they say

Unfortunately, often if we've been abused by a partner we can look around us and see more people just like them. Some of your family may be cut from the same cloth as him. If you were raised by narcissists and similar then that may have set you up to fall into abusive relationships (of all kids).

Think about it, would you ever say something as horrible as 'it's your fault you were abused' to someone? Of course not. No normal person would. Abusive shiteheads would though.

Take this opportunity to take a good look at all the relationships in your life. You may have more people yet still to walk away from.

*of all kinds

It's not your fault! I believe you.

Yes my family were like that before I was abused by a man but after that it got much worse

Thanks. This is the first time I’ve ever posted on a forum about this