NC. And I know I'm probably being completely unreasonable.
So my partner of 1 year has two close female friends. One ex girlfriend (until a few months prior to our relationship) and one sort-of-ex from his childhood, whom he occasionally had sexual contact with - the last time while we were not being exclusive, about 3 months into where we started. He also has a close male friend, so his circle isn't exclusively female, but these 3 are what he'd class as his close friends.
He has frequent contact with both women, via phone - both live a good drive away. They talk on the phone for an hour a so about once a week. In non-lockdown times they'd sleep over at his. The last time this happened, we were not fully exclusive yet and sexual contact (not full-on sex) happened with the long-time friend. I made it very clear afterwards I wanted to be exclusive. The other woman slept over a few weeks later and I was in bits most of the weekend, though he assured me a LOT that nothing had happened.
The thing is, I am very uncomfortable with their contact. He has a high need of communication and will phone me almost daily and see me several times a week, either at mine or at his. I have met his family, we are Facebook official (I know...) and both women are well aware of me. I am due to meet them whenever lockdown lift and they can meet up.
The thing is, I don't want to. When he had sexual contact with his friend, I was very upset and I only recently actually allowed myself to cry about it in front of him. The other woman is his ex. He assures me ALL THE TIME that they are just friends when he knows I'm getting insecure. He says he wouldn't cheat and I do believe him. I know his phone password (never unlocked it, but he does get open notifications of messages and doesn't mind me seeing them), he is not in any way secretive, but also respects his friends' privacy and only ever tells me the bare minium of what is talked about on the phone. He can be on the phone to them for hours.
I was cheated on by an ex and almost every man I know more closely has cheated in their relationships. One of the women looks a lot like a women I was cheated on with. I am just so uncomfortable when he is on the phone to these women, or, heaven forbid, when they sleep over again once lockdown is over. It may only be once or twice a year, but I am dreading it. Their weekly or fortnightly calls grind on me.
How can I get over this? He is being honest, open and I know he is doing nothing wrong. But I just can't shake the insecurity, the green eyes when either of those two phones and they spend time together on the phone, on social media or message. I don't have the same issue with other women, like his sister or women we work with.
How can I stop feeling like this? How can I trust that he will not cheat, that these women have actually gone from a sexual to a frienldy relationship? How can I hold back when I inevitably will have to meet them? I trust him, but every tie they are meantioned I feel like a lead weight is dragging my stomach down and I feel incredily insecure.