Well you don’t work

Mummywith2 · 2021-03-17T20:12:03+00:00

I hate when he says this he knows i hate it The thing is i do work Only 1 hour a day but i do all the childcare Housework Look after the pets & most of the cooking There are other things he says what i hate also, too many i cant think of them all He told me i was turning ds into a girl because he spends time with my friends dd of the same age and also his younger sister

VettiyaIruken · 17/03/2021 20:13

He's a twat

ilikemethewayiam · 17/03/2021 20:14

What does HE do?

Original poster

Mummywith2 · 17/03/2021 20:15

He works full time and does the weekly food shop & makes the odd cup of tea

OP posts:

Bananalanacake · 17/03/2021 20:16

So not just any old twat but a sexist twat!

Otter71 · 18/03/2021 07:34

Stop doing everything you do for a few days and see if he notices. Or leave him for a couple of days to look after the kids because your mother / father is unwell and needs help.

He may realise what you do then...

SandyY2K · 18/03/2021 07:36

He obviously rates you highly to think you have the power to turn your son into a girl. What a ridiculous comment.

Gettingthereslowly2020 · 18/03/2021 07:42

Get a full time job and make him pay half for a cleaner and obviously half of the childcare costs. I wouldn't want to be financially dependent on a man anyway. At the very least, I'd be looking for a job with more hours than you're currently working. You'll never regret having your independence. If it all goes tits up, at least you wouldn't be stuck with him and would have options.

His attitude stinks, I'm assuming your current arrangement was a mutual decision. He could have a proper conversation with you about it if he's changed his mind and no longer wants to be the breadwinner. Making nasty little comments like that is really immature.

Gettingthereslowly2020 · 18/03/2021 07:45

I missed off the bit about the horrible sexist comments he's made about your son spending time with a little girl.
Summary: get rid

Shoxfordian · 18/03/2021 10:03

He sounds very disrespectful

Original poster

Mummywith2 · 18/03/2021 10:14

Thanks guys - i am looking for full time having just completed a training course and i took this job to get me back into work @Gettingthereslowly2020

he knows how hard the kids/ dogs / housework is because we have broke up before where he would have them on weekends @Otter71

Is it normal to hate things they say 😏

OP posts:

pinkyredrose · 18/03/2021 10:16

It isn't normal. Why did you get back together?

Gettingthereslowly2020 · 18/03/2021 10:54

@Mummywith2

Thanks guys - i am looking for full time having just completed a training course and i took this job to get me back into work *@Gettingthereslowly2020*

he knows how hard the kids/ dogs / housework is because we have broke up before where he would have them on weekends @Otter71

Is it normal to hate things they say 😏

That's really good, it sounds like you have a lot going for you and you have clear plans for the future. That makes his comments even more unreasonable.

Original poster

Mummywith2 · 18/03/2021 11:09

Thabk you
@Gettingthereslowly2020 i think thats why i hate it so much when he says it because i work every day im always in & out the house with school runs dog walks going to work myself each day
He used to sau it when i worked part time when my youngest was a baby it really grates on me but I wasn’t sure if im being ridiculous but its other things he says i just hate them it sounds mad
To want to leave someone because you dont like what they say...

OP posts:

Wanderlusto · 18/03/2021 11:27

Those remarks are pretty grim though op.
Making out that his boy is 'turning into a girl' because he has girl friends.

I remember how horrid little boys were when I was young. They used to make out that girls were 'lesser than' - and obviously they got it from their fathers.

All my friends were boys as a kid and I grew up wishing that I could be too, actually hating being a girl. Probably partly because males around me would say things like 'women are weak', 'women are gossips', 'women are drama', 'women are bitchy'. I actually wonder if it's why many young lasses think they are trans today, in their early teens. I certainly didn't feel like a girl. At least not as they portrayed what girls were.

The fact is, kids really pick up on this underlying misogyny in society. And they regurgitate it.

Do you want your little lad to turn into someone who empowers women? Or who beats them down like his father does?

Do you want him to grow up feeling he can't express himself without being judged? Not allowed to like pink or enjoy a good musical? So he has to hide who he is? And perhaps, take out that anger on women?

It's not on op. Things like this shouldnt be happening in this day and age. Young boys should be shown that their mothers won't tolerate disrespect to them or to women. So that they grow up thinking women are strong.

Wanderlusto · 18/03/2021 11:31

And you probably need to have a wee chat with you boy about how he can be anything he wants to be - as long as he is kind to others.

Thatwentbadly · 18/03/2021 11:32

@Mummywith2

Thabk you *@Gettingthereslowly2020* i think thats why i hate it so much when he says it because i work every day im always in & out the house with school runs dog walks going to work myself each day He used to sau it when i worked part time when my youngest was a baby it really grates on me but I wasn’t sure if im being ridiculous but its other things he says i just hate them it sounds mad To want to leave someone because you dont like what they say...

Well it depends on what they are saying. Your partner should be just that, your partner. They should be your biggest cheerleader, they should support you through life’s challenges not making your life more difficult or talking down to you.

Thatwentbadly · 18/03/2021 11:33

@Wanderlusto

Those remarks are pretty grim though op. Making out that his boy is 'turning into a girl' because he has girl friends.

I remember how horrid little boys were when I was young. They used to make out that girls were 'lesser than' - and obviously they got it from their fathers.

All my friends were boys as a kid and I grew up wishing that I could be too, actually hating being a girl. Probably partly because males around me would say things like 'women are weak', 'women are gossips', 'women are drama', 'women are bitchy'. I actually wonder if it's why many young lasses think they are trans today, in their early teens. I certainly didn't feel like a girl. At least not as they portrayed what girls were.

The fact is, kids really pick up on this underlying misogyny in society. And they regurgitate it.

Do you want your little lad to turn into someone who empowers women? Or who beats them down like his father does?

Do you want him to grow up feeling he can't express himself without being judged? Not allowed to like pink or enjoy a good musical? So he has to hide who he is? And perhaps, take out that anger on women?

It's not on op. Things like this shouldnt be happening in this day and age. Young boys should be shown that their mothers won't tolerate disrespect to them or to women. So that they grow up thinking women are strong.

Or your girl to grow up thinking this is an acceptable way for people to treat her.

Gettingthereslowly2020 · 18/03/2021 11:47

You can absolutely leave someone because you don't like what they say. You can leave someone for whatever reason you like. This is your life and you only get one shot at it so do whatever it is that makes you happy

EpochTime · 18/03/2021 11:54

If he's saying that to your face, what is he saying to other people?! That you 'don't work'? That you're 'just' a SAHM?
Being a SAHM of young children whilst having part-time WFH responsibilities when they happened to sleep was by far the most difficult job I've ever had to do.

Cam2020 · 18/03/2021 12:06

Classic sexism and devaluation of what you're doing, not to mention moronic regarding your son spending time with girls.

W0rd0ftheday428 · 18/03/2021 13:30

Are you married ?

Get a FT job, he pays half cleaning, childcare etc

Moonface123 · 18/03/2021 13:41

The problem is now hardly anyone appreciates unpaid work, such as cooking, cleaning, childcare, gardening, sorting out appointments, looking after elderly relatives etc. We are meant to do all that on top of a full time paid job.
Unpaid work has no value anymore.
Go full time and see how your husband enjoys having a chaotic household and an exhausted wife.

I