DH and I have had a very difficult few months. I don’t want to go into the details (but also don’t want to drip feed) -it feels like we have had a lot of the crap parts of life thrown at us. DH has severe OCD which has flared up recently. We also have young children. He’s said some very nasty things to me of late in stressful situations and they have very hurt me. He has been seeing a therapist and recently started medication. He repeatedly misses his dose. He also does very little around the house. I’m recovering from a horrendous birth and sepsis and things are hard. Very hard. It’s hard to be kind and patient with him as he clearly needs support but I also feel like he doesn’t want things to improve because he doesn’t see that there is much of an issue. He’ll be difficult, moody, angry and then come to bed and say how much he loves me. It upsets me. I tried to gently and kindly raise the concerns I had and how I was finding it hard and he became very angry and upset. He told me I was irrational and unfair and that he’d no longer be sharing anything with me. In the past he has had serious health investigations and kept these a secret until afterwards making things incredibly upsetting. I begged him to share things with me and he said he would but as of yesterday he is refusing. I feel like he wants me to put up and shut up. It’s hard to separate what is him and what is his illness. I have depression and I know how hard mental health can be but he doesn’t see the impact his lack of engagement with treatment is having on me and our children. They are young now but he has been stern with them as tiny babies and also blamed me for their crying (this was when they were a few weeks old). It’s incredibly challenging. What do I do? I love him but I can’t live like this.