Sad--milestones

[blisstwins]

Tomorrow would have been my 20th wedding anniversary. My ex-husband had an affair with someone 22 years younger and left her for her 4 years ago. He dropped contact with out children because they could not be happy for him, and now has a stepdaughter and 2 new children--shiny, happy family.
Since he left my mother, brother, aunt and uncle died. So I am alone except for my children. We are fine in so many ways, but it has been very hard for my son especially and I have to navigate every aspect of my teenagers lives and crises with a single family member to confide in. I feel so so alone and I worry for my children. He changed and is not the man I thought he was and what can you do. Wise older friends sometimes say they think they just got lucky when it comes to having married the right man. I thought I was marrying someone decent. He fights me for every dime. I know we don't get all we want in life, but I never expected to lose everyone.

Just feeling sorry for myself and...lonely. Will have such a hard time getting through this anniversary even though he just about killed me and is not a good man. Literally started a new life and dumped everyone, including his children, in his former life. His parents and sister also stopped talking to my children. They are from another culture and think my children did not have a right to be angry....

It sounds as though you're better off without him, OP. It's so unfair that men can get away with their bad behaviour, but I bet his new family is not as happy as it seems. I feel sorry for his new wife.

I'm sorry you're feeling low.

Have you been able to move your life on, date, build up a social network? Maybe it's time to start carving out time for yourself and focusing on your future?

It's so hard. Wishing you strength for tomorrow and these 💐. You are not alone on here.

I'm so sorry you are feeling like this.

I'm only going through the first year of separation and always think I'm getting on quite nicely until a milestone hits and it's like a slap in the face.

I very much doubt they are living the happily ever after you imagine ... she must constantly fear he will do the same to her and that's no life.

That's pretty shit and I understand your feelings, they are very reasonable. However, you are clearly a thoughtful person doing a good job of caring practically and emotionally. This is much more than many people get from parents. I think you have to keep plugging on and life will feel better. Can you create a social life outside of family? Support doesn't need to be from them

@upupandawaytoday

I'm so sorry you are feeling like this.

I'm only going through the first year of separation and always think I'm getting on quite nicely until a milestone hits and it's like a slap in the face.

I very much doubt they are living the happily ever after you imagine ... she must constantly fear he will do the same to her and that's no life.

I just wanted to say thanks for the support. The night before what would have been my anniversary was rough, but I am so busy during the day it was OK. Plus your kind words helped. I am lucky to have good friends and good work, but my children and life don't allow me the ability to date, pursue new things, or even take particularly good care of myself and it is frustrating. I am 100% alone--all my family died since my exhusband left, which is just so weird and it gets me down sometimes.

I do want to tell upup and away, that except for wobbles it gets so much easier. The first year was the worst. I still hope to someday meet someone, but it is not the most important thing. I think it is good to get settled on your own first, but first year is mostly about getting through it. It is all quite surreal. Anyway, thanks for the handlehold. I really appreciated it.