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Relationships

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Letting someone in

2 replies

Leanne1191 · 16/03/2021 08:44

Hi everyone,

Just need some advice, so a lot of you know my story from last year, my ex cheating on me 6 months after our marriage and then being with her and him being a typical liar and a narcissist.

Well lately he's been acting different, 6 weeks ago I did the no contact rule, I changed my number, and I asked him not to come to my house and have also got my mum as the middle person for the kids, so he drops them and picks them up from my mums so I have no contact with him and so he doesn't need to speak to me or see me it's just better for me at the moment and it's helping with me moving forward and getting on with my life.

However he don't like this, he has been acting weird......

6 weeks ago was the last time I saw and spoke to him, I made sure I was dressed up and looked nice because i thought you ain’t seeing me looking like shit anymore. The Friday he took them he made some excuses to message me and asked for my email address, I ignored him, I was then advised to change my number, tell him not to come to the house anymore and too use someone as a third party with regards to the children so that’s what I did after telling him to go through my mum and he’s not to come to the house anymore and is to pick them up and drop them off to my mums, two weeks ago he kicked off as it was our first child’s birthday and he moaned about seeing him and blah blah blah so I said don’t worry I’ll do his birthday the Monday instead, he asked my mum twice to get me to ring him but she said no Alex that’s why I’m here she won’t be ringing you, he then decides to drop them home 2 hours early too the Sunday and our child said to me that he had gone to my house and went looking for my car and he said he had said to his dad mums in Southend this weekend and his dad apparently said to him no she’s not she’s either at home or at her friends do you know where her friend lives luckily for me he didn’t know the directions, he then dropped them round to my mum and come back to my house the second time posted a note and money through the door as he hadn’t fed them, then during the week he tried to get me to ring him again but my mum just ignored him this time, now this weekend gone he’s done it again he’s come to my house again when he knows not to and has looked for my car and has also brought the kids a phone so he can call them every Wednesday (he hasn’t bothered since we split) his behaviour is odd he told me months ago to just leave him alone and threatened harassment on me so I’ve backed off and he’s now acting like this, my friend thinks maybe he’s realised the grass isn’t greener and has realised what his lost... what do you think? I’ve got court in June too which he has summoned me too so I don’t get why he needs to speak to me and see me because that’s clearly getting to him now.

I just want him to leave me alone, he's meant to be happy with the woman he cheated on me with and shouldn't care about what I'm doing or where I am.

What should I do????

OP posts:
Number3BigCupOfTea · 16/03/2021 08:54

Wow, there's a lot going on there. You don't want him back do you? It's gratifying to believe he may have realised life is not better out there on his new pastures, but this is a guy who is messing you around and also messing your mother around.

I can understand it's confusing to get these SOS style ''ring me!'' cry outs but you just do not have that kind of relationship any more. He will try to have his cake and eat it though. You need to be strong about ignoring these ''pages'' to ring him. You're under no obligation to contact him because he wants to check in regularly to change all the arrangements to make himself feel in control and make sure that you never forget him and move on.

Be smart. You have DC with him and you can't completely ignore him but ignore every single piece of communication that can be ignored.

Sunshinesky1981 · 16/03/2021 13:17

It could be that he thinks the grass is greener. More than likely its the hit to his ego that he can't cope with. He told you to leave him alone, said that you were harassing him, now that you have actually done it and are putting yourself first, having a life, looking better he can't stand it so all of this makes him feel like he is the one loosing control.
Its not so much that he wants you back, its just his ego needs to know that he could have you back if he wanted

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