Privacy

[Panglossian]

Hi all, just wondering who does and doesn't know their partner's pin for their phone? How do you navigate privacy etc? Context: just realised he's changed his passcode.
TIA

I’m not overly fussed sharing a PIN with a romantic partner, I think if I had the thought I didn’t want them to see anything in particular I’d consider there were problems in the relationship re: communication worth addressing.

That said I don’t get on overly well with controlling women, but there is a difference between addressing an insecurity and full on control issues. The former I can work with the later is probably irreconcilable.

I don't know my partners code but will gladly share his phone if he is showing me something or asks me to look something up on it. I trust him so don't need to know his code.

We've been married 13 years, and have fingerprint access to each others phones (no idea of the pass code though). I've never used it to snoop, but do sometimes pick up his phone to check something online if it's closer than mine

Is there an accompanying change in behaviour that makes you want to check his phone?

I think it's odd to change it if he's previously been happy for you to know it.

In general, I wouldn't expect to know a partner's phone code, but I suppose there might be occasions a person might borrow it. Would be weird to change the code because they knew it.

I know my DP's code, I went to change the music playing from his phone once and he told me what it was. I wouldn't have asked, and I haven't used it for anything else since! He also knows mine for similar reasons.
Need more background really OP, did he have a code you knew before and has now changed it? Or did he not have a code before?

I did know the code previously

I don't know my parents. We've been together 9 years. He doesn't know mine. Neither of us are bothered.

@ginoclocksomewhere

I don't know my parents. We've been together 9 years. He doesn't know mine. Neither of us are bothered.

Parents 😂😂😂 Obviously I meant partners.

I know my partner's, I'd have an issue if he wasn't willing to let me know ...I never use his phone, go through it or anything but I just like openness and for me that includes knowing each other's codes but respecting privacy

I ‘navigate privacy’ by reflecting others and expecting them to respect mine

^respecting

We know each others and can access via fingerprint also. Its not an issue as sometimes we'll just use the others phone to look something up or if one of us is driving and need to call someone on his/my contacts or something.

If though he changed his code and no longer wanted me to have access, I would definitely think something is up as it would be strange.

if I was in that position, i'd likely have my phone out of charge and ask to use his for something, and casually say, 'oh whats your new pin'.
If he was hesitant to give it, that would say a huge amount.

We don't know each others phone codes and also have fingerprint id set up. Partner does know (if he's remembered!) my
ipad code but he doesn't really use it.
Having said that, what other people do isn't the point here, it's that you did know and now it's changed.

We use each others phones for music, YouTube etc so know each others codes. I answer his phone or text when he's driving.

Did you know the code before? I'd ask him for the new one if so.

Sorry, just saw you did have the previous code. I'd ask him for the new one for sure.

@Panglossian

I did know the code previously

Then I think it's weird for him to have changed it, (assuming you've only ever used his phone for things like borrowing cos yours is out of charge, looking something up, taking pictures, answering for him when he's driving or something, or any of the other many innocuous reasons, and not because you're a paranoid possessive maniac) . Of course, couples sometimes agree to have access to each other's phones after infidelity, and if that was the case, him changing the code would be a grenade into the relationship.

Do you have any other reason to suspect something untoward?