How do we split if partner won’t move out

[Morph2lcfc]

I’ve been with my parter about 27 years and it’s been going down hill last 5 or so years. We have a 10 year old with sen. I want to split, dp doesn’t so he won’t move out. We only have a 4 years left on current mortgage. I’m the higher earner, I could afford the house and bills on my own but dp could not. It’s a very cheap mortgage so much cheaper than rent would be so he can’t afford to go anywhere else. I’ve been looking at rents and I could afford to rent somewhere else but I wouldn’t also be able to subsidise dp still living in our house by paying the bills so me moving out then means dp would no longer be able to live in our current house either. Both his parents are dead he doesn’t really have another option of where to live, what do people do in these circumstances? I suppose he could go and rent a room somewhere but he won’t move out but the practicality is he can’t afford to take on his he house on his own- this is mortgage/bills only without even considering me taking out equity or him paying any child support

@Wanderlusto

What do you mean you arent split up 'because he doesn't want to' ? Lol wtf xD Splitting up doesn't have to be a mutual decision.

You tell him it's over and he has to move out!

Whether he moves out or not, you start sleeping separately, stop doing any cooking or housework for him and make it clear the relationship is over.

You can't just "tell him to move out" of his own house though. She's going to have to do it through solicitors if he's refusing, the house will probably have to be sold

She can tell him to move out, but he doesn't to pay attention to it. It's always worth a try in case he does.

Suggest you do as follows:

1. Write to mortgage company and tell them you are separating, that you can pay the mortgage alone, partner cannot. Ask if they will provide a letter in support of your application to court for an occupation order/order for sale. The mortgage Co will always prefer to have the mortgage paid rather than unpaid.

1. Apply to court to seek an occupation order (and an order for sale). There are two tests. If your partner isn't abusive you won't meet the "balance of harm" test but you are likely to fulfill the "core criteria " test which is concerned with whether you can pay the mortgage, that you have a child with SN to house to whom you are primary parent. The order will not be instant (unless you are in danger) as partner will need time to move out and rehome himself. But this is how you get him out.

1. The order for sale can then be dealt with It can provide for you to buy out your partner and have the property transferred to you (if awarded he doesn't have to agree as the judge can sign off the documents). You will need to arrange sole mortgage before the order is made. Or if you can't afford to buy him out, even by getting a bigger mortgage then the order will need to provide that the house will be sold and the equity split (equally if you are joint tenants).

One more thing - please do apply for child maintenance. Your child is entitled to it and if you have to buy partner out, money might be very tight for a few years.

All the "custody " talk is a load of old flannel from him. I think you know that.

@category12

She can tell him to move out, but he doesn't to pay attention to it. It's always worth a try in case he does.

Well yes but the poster I quoted said - tell him to move out and he has to move out

I was in a very similar situation. In the end I took my children to live with my parents. Within a week he realised I was serious and agreed to sell the house. He never moved out though. He stayed in the family home while we all squashed in together. He also made a lot of noise about joint custody. In reality he was seeing somebody else within a couple of weeks. 7 months on they're engaged and he sees them one afternoon a week. I tried for months to reason with him but in the end I realised short of me going he would have happily limped along in limbo for years.

@Wanderlusto can you be my best friend?

Whether he moves out or not, you start sleeping separately, stop doing any cooking or housework for him and make it clear the relationship is over

This