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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How do I get a friendship group?

2 replies

Sohum · 16/03/2021 03:04

I’ve got individual friends but me and my husband have no joint friends. We don’t have a friendship group. Does every married couple have a group they hang out with? I just see pictures of groups of friends going away for weekends and think that must be lovely. Does every married couple have that? I’d love it. I don’t know how to get it. I’ve tried but finding people who 1) are interested and haven’t already got their own tribe is hard 2) finding people who I get on with the woman and husband gets on with the bloke seems impossible. How do we get a friendship group? I tried through my kids school and for a couple of years we had one going with other parents but as the kids got older it all fell apart as they found other friends they preferred and it was always me making all of the running. When they would organise something we’d get left out so it wasn’t exactly reciprocal. I feel like me and my kids are missing out on a huge part of life and I feel like I’m letting them down by trying and failing. Any tips on how you made your tribe please?

OP posts:
jendifer · 16/03/2021 03:21

Most of our group of friends are through church, or friends of friends. We do a lot of big holidays together and I think that helps too, and online stuff like board games.
There are some of DPs friends I don’t get on as naturally with, but I know his friendship to the husband really matters so I try and put aside my feelings IYSWIM. I wouldn’t if I hated them but I do it because I enjoy us all hanging out and I’ve got to know people better the more time I’ve spent with them.

I’ve also invited friends I know from other places to get to know other friends which has helped as we’ve gelled together better too and it’s been reciprocal so we’ve all extended our friendship circle.

PhilCornwall1 · 16/03/2021 04:19

Does every married couple have a group they hang out with? I just see pictures of groups of friends going away for weekends and think that must be lovely. Does every married couple have that?

Not every married couple no. That scenario you've described above would be my idea of hell.

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