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Original poster

OH Wearing Womens Underwear

57 replies

joFRobins · 15/03/2021 18:28

I have been with my new partner for around 8 months, the other day I found around 10 bodysuits and shape ware in his underwear draws. When I asked him what they were he says he enjoys wearing them and actually wears them most of the time under his usual clothes.

Not sure what to make of this, he says its not sexual he just likes the feel of the fabric and it encasing his body. He even commented on liking how they shaped his bum and the slight padding in the them. These are note sexy bodysuites jus the sort you sling on under your normal clothes of a dress.

Is this normal, what should I do? It just seems really really strange. And obviously he has been trying to avoid the situation as when we are together he wears male underwear, well when I have been close enough to find out anyway

OP posts:
Ardvark111 · 15/03/2021 20:52

@marshmallowara your last paragraph,!! 😂😂

Doyoumind · 15/03/2021 21:00

How can you be so in love with someone after 8 months, especially when you clearly don't know him well? If you don't like it, you have the right not to continue the relationship. You don't need to change for him.

NicelySpicy · 15/03/2021 21:01

Does he wear them all the time unless he’s seeing you? It would probably be less noteworthy if he did, but the fact he doesn’t wear them with you makes it an issue . Also “liking the feel” of them would definitely put me off as it sounds like a fetish.

MarshmallowAra · 15/03/2021 21:26

[quote Ardvark111]@marshmallowara your last paragraph,!! 😂😂[/quote]
Apparently others do not share your humour.

Post has been deleted for suggesting a man who wears female shapewear may be a transvestite. How very unreasonable and offensive.

Since when is the Q word offensive incidentally?

Doyoumind · 15/03/2021 21:33

Perhaps OP requested the deletion. It is their first post.

Coffeeandcocopops · 15/03/2021 21:40

It’s a fetish. Like wearing rubber, nappies etc. It will escalate. You don’t have to like it OP. I wouldn’t find it attractive at all. It would be the end for me as I wouldn’t fancy him anymore.

youvegottenminuteslynn · 15/03/2021 21:58

Everyone is entitled to enjoying their own kinks.

Everyone is equally entitled to not be comfortable with other people's.

You aren't comfortable with this. That means you aren't compatible.

FWIW I think the majority of women would feel uncomfortable with this.

Your boundaries are your boundaries. Point blank. That's it. This is a firm no from you so you aren't compatible.

Grognonne · 15/03/2021 22:06

Woah!! There are a lot of leaps going on here!! I’ve been wearing men’s boxers under my clothes recently as I’ve found them more comfortable in lockdown under joggers. I have not found them sexy, they haven’t become a fetish, and I don’t think people would accuse me of being a transvestite or having an affair because of it. This seems very sexist, like when nobody minds when girls wear clothes more traditionally male, or play with traditionally male toys, but when a boy wears a dress or plays with dolls, suddenly people become uncomfortable.

Zeev · 15/03/2021 22:11

@HermioneWeasley

Of course it’s sexual, don’t be ridiculous. Women’s underwear is not more comfortable for male genitals. Accept that it’s a fetish - that might work for you or it might not. This fetish also tends to escalate to full cross dressing, so bear that in mind when you consider whether he’s a long term prospect
This. My ex said it was "definitely not sexual, it's just relaxing" to wear schoolgirl type clothes.

It was also "relaxing" to preen in front of a full body mirror when putting on said clothes.

Hmm
TheRulesDontApplyToMe · 15/03/2021 22:36

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Ardvark111 · 16/03/2021 05:33

In @marshmallowara. Defence the word she used was not offensive... I have seen much worse / language and expletives used on here,!!

Stormhold · 16/03/2021 06:29

As a slim woman, I wear them because I like the feeling of being really tightly compressed - so I can imagine that some men out there could like something similar without it being sexual. But I'd be surprised if there wasn't better-fitting stuff made for men out there.

PantherPantherus · 16/03/2021 07:18

@joFRobins

Does your DP have stairs down to a very large basement and have you noticed any moths or moth larvae in the house? Does he make the underwear himself? Does he have a sewing machine to make it on?

Ardvark111 · 16/03/2021 08:42

@pantherpatherus PMSL ,!! 😂 somebody call clarice,!!

ArriettyCArriettyC · 16/03/2021 09:00

I wasn't sure what a shape wear body suit was so I googled .... the second review of this on M and S website says 'ideal for men as well as women'

www.marksandspencer.com/deco-lace-body-non-wired/p/clp60451156?color=BLACK

gannett · 16/03/2021 09:38

I don't really see how shapewear/bodysuits are inherently feminine. Most male athletes wear compression shorts and tops. Lycra fits into this category too. Some of it might be marketed to women but essentially it's the same thing.

I mean, I don't really think any bits of fabric are inherently male or female, but this doesn't really seem like a lacy lingerie equivalent.

Coffeeandcocopops · 16/03/2021 10:29

Why does he wear them? How do you feel about it? You don’t have to like it.

PantherPantherus · 16/03/2021 11:32

I think a lot depends on whether his natural body shape is more Brian Blessed than Rudolf Nureyev.

Ardvark111 · 16/03/2021 13:35

@pantherpantherus your cracking me up,!! 😂😂

PantherPantherus · 16/03/2021 13:44

I imagine the DP looks and acts like Charles Hawtrey.....

nancywhitehead · 16/03/2021 13:45

@joFRobins

Its such a hard one, I do love him so much, but not sure if I can live with this.

Its the fact he won't wear them in front of me, as this would be more open and honest in my book.

He is also ver slim so might be able pull it off

The reason he won't wear them in front of you is probably nothing to do with honesty but more that he feels embarrassed and worried about what you will think, and whether you'll still be attracted to him.

If you feel that you will be and it's not going to bother you, then he's probably going to need some reassurance of that before he'll be happy to wear them around you.

Clementine183 · 16/03/2021 14:06

It wouldn't be a turn-off for me, it would be a turn-on if anything (!) but even the fact that we are all talking about it in those terms shows that there's clearly some sort of sexual element, from your point of view even if not from his (though I think there probably is from his as well to be honest). Personally I think if you love him and are happy with the relationship it's worth a further conversation explaining that you feel a bit uncomfortable and seeing if he can say anything to reassure you. If he can't and you feel you can't accept it then that's probably your answer...

Naunet · 16/03/2021 15:12

Woah!! There are a lot of leaps going on here!! I’ve been wearing men’s boxers under my clothes recently as I’ve found them more comfortable in lockdown under joggers. I have not found them sexy, they haven’t become a fetish, and I don’t think people would accuse me of being a transvestite or having an affair because of it. This seems very sexist, like when nobody minds when girls wear clothes more traditionally male, or play with traditionally male toys, but when a boy wears a dress or plays with dolls, suddenly people become uncomfortable

Men and women are not the same, and there’s no need to pretend we are. I’ve never in my life found a woman who is turned on by wearing men’s underwear, but I’ve come across plenty of men who are turned on by wearing women’s. It’s not remotely like children’s clothing, because there’s no sexual element there, with a grown man, there almost always is.

Op, I’ve been down this road, it would be a hard no from me!

Kelly345 · 16/03/2021 16:03

@PantherPantherus

I imagine the DP looks and acts like Charles Hawtrey.....
I say!
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