Hi all,
Really have no one to turn to and I really just need to spill my guts out because I have no one else to speak to.
Few weeks ago I was sitting with my partner who was showing me something on his phone flicking through it when I noticed a message from his ex and mother of his first child from when we were few months into our relationship and started being really skirtish about it and pretended he couldn't see it etc etc. When we got together I was always a bit suspicious that he wasn't really telling me the truth about his situation with her and at the time
I asked him a few things and accepted his responses because I presumed he'd just tell me the truth haha but there has always been something that I felt just wasn't quite right about it all. At the end of the day if he was still in a relationship with her or anything going on he wouldn't of left his daughter, moved in with me, wouldn't of had a daughter with me so I did just let it lie until he started being weird with that message.
Anyway please don't judge, I was naughty and did some snooping and looked at that message...
there were a lot of messages of him telling her that he does hope that eventually they can work things out, That they were still living together at the time we got together and for the first few months before he moved in with me despite him telling me he was living in his mums, messages from Him saying how much he loved her lady parts and a message from him saying that she can still have sex with him because it's not about him not being attracted to her. It did come across like things were over between them two but still had some sort of weird relationship going on - I know some relationship would have to be there for their daughter but I don't know.
I have spoken to him about this and he has said that he was just saying all this stuff, lying about it all because he wanted to make sure he could have access to his daughter and that nothing happened between them from the time we got together. Apparently he was told he would never see his daughter again but from what I read that just doesn't make sense to me. I know they both have a daughter and I know he wanted to maintain his relationship with her but I just find everything he was saying to her was really just unnecessary and just unacceptable. Because he was basically also giving her false hope and promises that things would work out for the two of them!
He wants to draw a line in this and move on but I just can't forget it. I'm more disappointed then anything and I have no idea how long him giving her false promises and hope went on for! Like why didn't he just wait until things were completely 100% done between them before starting a new relationship. There was also a message I saw back at the time flashed up on his phone when he had moved in where she said 'marry me and live happily ever after?' Was that connected to all this?! And did confront him at the time and he just dismissed it as that being her sense of humour.
I know some people will think I'm stupid for dwelling on the past but this is a guy that has always been 'I have never messaged anyone behind your back and never will' and here we are. I don't believe a thing that comes out his mouth anymore and I don't know what to do. God I love him but I just feel completely let down and I can't talk to him about how I'm feeling without starting world war 3 because he'll turn it into an argument.
I don't know what to do I'm so unhappy because I can't let myself forget what I've read and can't talk to him about it. It's all my fault I am aware of that but yeah I'm silly haha
Just spilling my guts really not looking for responses just have no one else to vent to haha