This is ridiculous

[isobel79]

So today I was meant to spend the morning with a guy I've been talking too/seeing this last month.
At 915 he text to say he had to pop and collect some shopping and he would call me when he's home. Its now 1pm. About half hour ago he said he was just down the road........ And he would call me when he gets in. I have to collect my DS from school and I told him that I only have free time till 2pm today.
I cannot believe I have waited for this man since 915am. Well I ain't going now. What a waste of a morning/afternoon.
Sorry just needed to rant. If this is the way forward then he ain't for me....... 😡

That would drive me crazy too OP. Can't stand tardiness. If this is how he is at the beginning of a relationship, move on. Unless of course he's been run over or abducted

Ditch. He is testing to see how long you will wait about for him.

Assuming you had set a rough time/told him before today when you were free until- there is no excuse for him to leave you dangling.

Narcissists like to pull this move fyi. To see if you'll wait about. Often it's when you actually get to the dating location but...similar vein really I suppose.

As long as you were clear about when you were free beforehand, theres no need to give him another chance. He's a timewaster. Literally.

Well he ain't been run over or abducted as I have just this minute spoken to him
I played it cool and just said we'll do another day. I appreciate he had things to do and that other things come first but don't take the piss! I've been there done that with partners before and once you let them take the mick they will continue to do so. And to make it worse HE STILL AINT EVEN HOME YET

LP yesterday we made arrangement that I would see him around 10am today. That way we could spend at least four hours together. Well sorry its too late now. I ain't letting someone take the mick

Well he has already taken the piss. If something came up he would have told you. He just felt like knowing you were waiting for him.

Now you've told him he cant play THIS game of disrespect with you. But there are a million others he can play because clearly your boundaries are there - but not firm enough.

Be careful op. Telling a lion that it's a lion and it needs to stop chewing on your leg...that wont change anything.

I ain't letting someone take the mick

Well, you kind of are

LP he did tell me this morning at 915 that he had to go collect some shopping for his kids which is fair enough. But that was at 915. He could never expect me to wait until this time to pop round and see him! That would be playing right into his hands. It is now 115 and he still ain't home.

We'll do it another day. Nope. Ditch him now, done, over, the end.

@GillBungalow

I ain't letting someone take the mick

Well, you kind of are

Fair point

I played it cool and just said we'll do another day.

Why would you even say this? He's taking the piss and using you as a doormat. Your only course of action should be to block the twat. Honestly, raise your standards.

No way does he deserve a second chance. It takes a few seconds to text and reschedule or say what the situation is. I would not bother with him again. At this stage he should be falling over himself to treat you well. If this is as good as it gets, it ain't good enough.

I think when we've been through some shit and maybe our self esteem has taken a hit, we tend to be like 'please dont hurt me, I don't deserve it, please recognise your behaviour is hurtful and stop it' with ppl disrespecting us. Maybe because we've been trained by past shitty ppl.

When actually we have to learn that you cant ask shit ppl to stop being shit. Normal, decent ppl would be respectful in the first place anyway. And people who are disrespectful from the offset, don't care about what we want or our feelings.

We have to learn to stop putting the responsibility on bad people not to treat us badly. And instead, take the responsibility of removing people who treat us badly from our lives.

There are decent blokes out there. There are. But when someone tells you they aren't decent from the offset, believe them. And dont feel it's any reflection on you that they can't behave decently. You dobt gave to hang about proving you are worthy of vring treated with respect. Not for anyone.

Thank you all posts.

I’d do the same to him next time then dump him.

This happened to me a few year ago before dh. He would ask me to meet at my mums for him to pick me up as it was much closer, if drive to my mums and he would never show up. It was awful but I let this happen for 4 months and he drove me to becoming a crazy person boarder line stalker! Dont let him do this to you

What a tosser! I had one like this; gave him the benefit of the doubt so many times (being a natural people pleaser who sees the best in everyone) but it just eats away at your self-esteem and sends you crazy. I'd bin him off personally x

Someone did something very similar to me a few months ago. He could not believe it when I calmly and indifferently let him know that I was not interested in seeing him again because that behaviour doesn't work for me. He was astounded. He really thought I would just suck it up, or maybe have a little rant and then suck it up anyway (like you have). He then called me high maintenance and needy 🤣 If you accept this behaviour now, you'll end up accepting a raft of it in the future and wonder how it happened.