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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Struggling to accept his behaviour

3 replies

Cakewithcream4 · 14/03/2021 17:29

I don't want to bore you with all the details. Fairly new relationship (7 months) and everything was going well until a week ago when I offered him space as his depression was allover. He Told me he couldn't take anymore of me and I had done him with that question. It was such a strange reaction and I was shocked.

I left him for 5 days and messaged him Thursday to ask if he was ok. He was really blunt back and just put yes fine. I text back and said ok. You know I care about you. He read it and didn't reply.

Now I understand not to bother him further. But I am really struggling with the sudden change. I don't mind if he doesn't want to get back together. I dont mind if he's done. But the day before he did this he told me he loved me so much and would always be there for me. I am struggling to understand how he seems to hate me on top of wanting to be done.

His words made no sense. I was always there for him. I didn't have any issues. I wasn't insecure. I wasn't Clingy. Infact when he was down I would give him space and not contact him too much as I could sense when he felt quiet.

Ive been warned by his ex that he will come back as he always does. She's warned me he's done this to her loads and his ex before her. She also told me he was cheating on his ex with her and still messages her now on and off. She said he has always blown hot and cold with her.

I have been so strong. I've only contacted him the one day. Perhaps in a few days I'll feel alot better. But I'm missing the person I thought he was.

Anyone got any advice. I shouldn't ask him if he's ok should I? Considering he's shown me no care this week at all.

I left

OP posts:
Nanny0gg · 14/03/2021 18:02

Well he isn't who you thought he was. You've been clearly told what he's like and his behaviour has confirmed it.

The hills are thataway >>>>>>>>>

lifehack · 14/03/2021 18:36

I don't believe it, the depression is bs, it's only been 7 months, bet he was feeling fine to date you at the beginning! His ex has warned you he'll come back like he has to her and others, that's where he's at now, found an ex to give him attention and now he's fed up of you for now.
He's a player avoid at all costs.

Treetops73 · 14/03/2021 18:40

He has told you that he is done with the relationship - take him at his word and don’t get in contact. Either he truly doesn’t want to hear from you or he’s playing a game and trying to get you to chase him. Neither scenario is good, is it? Block him, delete his number and chalk it up to experience.

He isn’t the person you thought he was, I’m afraid. I understand it’s hard that he appears to have done a U-turn but it sounds like he has form for this, going by what happened with his exes. It really shouldn’t be this difficult after only 7 months, you should still be in the honeymoon period! As I have read on MN many times, he has shown you who he is - believe him.

Tbh I think you might have dodged a bullet with this one....

💐

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