Final nail

[crazybutkind]

I have tried to be reasonable but I am currently sat here...sulking. I am a 32 year old mum of 2 and my sulk is worse than my 3 year olds today.

It's Mother's Day.
Being a mum is my biggest achievement. I am lucky, I have friends struggling through IVF and friends who have lost children and I struggled for many years in my early twenties to conceive.

Anyway my partner doesn't "believe" in Mother's Day. Just like he doesn't "believe" in Christmas, Easter, Valentine's Day, anniversaries, Father's Day.... anything really.

We have been together nearly 5 years and I have never received anything for Mother's Day, or my birthday and he apprantley forgot 3 out of the 5 Christmas's that we have had together.

I always get him something for Father's Day, birthday, Christmas. I don't normally do much for Valentine's Day or anniversary but birthdays and Christmas are important to me.

I am probably being very shallow and materialistic but I want a gift. Wether it's my birthday, Christmas, Mother's Day or just because.

I always see things that he likes and buy it for him. We have been on the verge of splitting up for months now but this morning I am just sad.

Seeing everybody celebrating their mothers or mother figures in their lives I am jealous and it can be a really ugly trait.

How do I approach this or do I not without sounding like a brat?

OP, most people who gave presents to a new partner in the first year - but didn't get anything back, would stop buying. Why did you continue? Work that out for your next relationship.
It's up to you whether you stay or leave, but never try to celebrate a holiday or Birthday with him again. Make your own plans in advance with your DC, friends and family. Treat yourself. Ultimately, you have the power to make yourself happy or sad. You can start now. It isn't easy with Covid, but make your own plans today.

I buy him gifts because I think everyone should feel special on their birthday. And it breaks my heart at Christmas because my family spoil me and he gets nothing from his family. Maybe a bottle of wine off his mum. My family buy him gifts. I come downstairs on Christmas morning to at least a dozen presents (non of which are off him) and he has nothing. I noticed this our first xmas and my heart just sank so I made sure he never woke up with nothing again.

Last Father's Day I didn't acknowledge it at all and he had a minor sulk but I didn't give a shit. My first Mother's Day I got nothing to the point my sister ran to the nearest petrol station to buy me a bunch of flowers because of how upset I was.

This has just put the final nail in the coffin.

And I bet he happily accepts all these gifts for Days he doesn't believe in.

What a hypocrite he is, and a fraud.

Leave soon OP 🌺

You are wanting him to change and that is never, ever going to happen. He doesn't give a fuck and he's made that abundantly clear. Get rid of him and find someone who actually appreciates you.

I never understand posts like this. It truly is the text book definition of insanity. He's doing what he does. That's what you bought into when you got together. Why are you trying to change him.
If it brakes your heart Op that he gets no presents, then you are getting him presents for yourself.

This has just put the final nail in the coffin ask yourself Op, why you are at this stage? It may prevent you repeating your mistake again.

This has just put the final nail in the coffin ask yourself Op, why you are at this stage? It may prevent you repeating your mistake again.

Exactly. It takes a lot of nails to seal up a coffin. That's a lot of wasted time.

Card £1.50 box chocs £5 = £6.50p at very least he could have got for you so kids could give to you,!!

You want to separate? Good.

Monday is the start. Ring a solicitor

My dickhead ex was like this and I was exactly like you. However, last year I got nothing for Mother's Day so thought fuck it when Father's Day came along. I got him nothing at all, not even a card and he went on about it all day. I said "oh well, I didn't think you believed in Father's Day so you got exactly what I received for Mother's Day". Like you, it was one of the final nails in the coffin to go along with all of the other selfish acts of his.