Too mentally drained to answer messages from friends

[mg1212]

I'm suffering with depression at the moment, on meds and under the care of a counsellor.
Haven't really seen my friends since before lockdown, so they don't know all this. It's too much to text or email about, so I've kept my contact with them lighthearted about day to day things.
Over the last 3 months I've taken a dip and have been getting more poorly, completely run down and mentally exhausted. Don't really have interest in the mundane chit chat type of messages any more. At least not until I start feeling better.
I'm been receiving loads of whatsapp messages from friends telling me all their news, about their kids, homeschooling, work etc. Really long winded stuff that I struggle to take in or respond to. It takes me WEEKS to feel able to reply, such a chore and something I put off and off. One particular friend seems the longest messages ever, telling me every scrap of news about everyone in her family and on her street. I simply dont have the energy to reply.
Anyone else feel like this when depressed?

Yes withdrawing is really severe. Just be honest. Reply with something like its great to hear all your news but I am really struggling so please understand I focusing on myself for a bit will contact you longer message when I feel better
They are not mind readers so tell them not to take it personally and you cant fake being upbeat at mo

You really do need to tell the something along the lines of:

Hey guys, sorry for not being very communicative at the moment but I am really struggling and trying to chat to all my lovely friends is really very physically and mentally draining. Bear with me people and I will be back in touch once I am sorted. Love to you all.

Yes I feel like this all the time when going through bad bouts of depression and anxiety. Let you're friends know you're feeling low so contact will be minimal at the moment, they will understand. My friends when I'm feeling like that text and phone just to check I am ok, they know that 99% of the time I'm not going to answer but it's still nice to know they are thinking of me. Sympathies to you, it's a horrible thing to go through. I have been on medication for the last few years and I still have times where I can't control it. Maybe try cbt? I have heard a lot of good things about this.

I have been exactly the same for the past fortnight. I haven’t been replying to friends or family. It’s too much. I don’t have anything to give them and I don’t feel I have anything happy to report.

It’s funny as I was fine in the first lockdown but this one is really taking its emotional toll. You are not alone.

I had to say to a couple of friends today l have got video call fatigue and would rather just wait til l can see them.
Be kind to yourself Op this has been the worst year for so many reasons. Your friends will understand but just explain to them briefly x

I've been feeling like this for several months now. I have many lovely friends but have felt unable to
communicate with them.

Only recently have I told a couple of them the extent of my depression and explain I just need to keep my head down and work my way through this.

I have been giving minimal replies to any messages , just enough to keep vaguely in touch and not lose valuable friendships.

I am now on anti depressants, and although lockdown has been a challenge in lots of ways part of me dreads it ending as I feel then I should try and get back to my previous life.
I'm dreading having to try and be the more sociable person I was before, I literally cannot be around people, even my dearest friends. Not through any fault of theirs - just mine.

A friend of mine felt like this last year, and she asked another friend to let our mutual friends know. She could then not worry about not replying as she knew people weren't expecting that. Have you got anyone who could do that for you? I hope you feel better soon.

Absolutely. Don't let thinking about it overwhelm you more. Concentrate on getting to a better day where you feel ready to engage. It's a vicious circle otherwise. Big hugs 🤗

I completely get what you mean. I have whatsapps and FB messages piling up and it feels overwhelming to craft replies to them all.

I sell online and have some customers whom Ive had years, and have sort of evolved into friends of a kind. Some are a bit clingy and others are rather chatty, going on endlessly about American politics. I am going through a bad time mentally and physically at present when I can barely barely keep up with the business and have had to take 4 weeks off. A big deal for a self employed person!

I dont want to alienate my long term customers so I have just made up a short "out of office message" for the moment to say something like "Thanks so much for your message. I am currently away from the computer for family and personal reasons and unable to respond at length. I do hope you understand."

In my experience people do not enquire too closely when you return having stated something like this, as they imagine there had been something like illness or death in the family.

I would make up a short all purpose message in your own words thanking them for their news but explaining briefly that for personal reasons you are unable to respond more fully at this time. Then post the same message to everyone with suitable alterations.

It's like how sick animals disappear into the bushes to be left alone. Maybe there's an evolutionary aspect to withdrawing when not well.

Yes I've withdrawn since the start of lockdown.

Most of my friends I've known for a long time/ I choose friends quite carefully. I've been honest with them. They've been fine about it.

You really should copy and paste Unreasonable's post above and just send it.
Send it to at least a few.
That should be doable.