Relationship Advice am I in the wrong?

[Courtneylouise666]

About a week ago I asked my boyfriend if he doesn’t mind me doing a little surprise for his birthday & that he was going to be at home for it he said yes so all week I’ve been talking to him about it without revealing what it is I got some ceiling balloons and a projector plus dinner and snacks and some us a movie night he comes home after having a drink and says thanks he loves it but then says I’m going back to that mates first for a few more drinks before we watch the film but the thing is I know he won’t be back because of previous times I got upset after doing it all which he knew about and he said it’s my fault for planning his bday and he wants to do something else well he’s mot back and I feel so sad am I in the wrong? Also it’s mother’s day in the morning so no lie in for me

Bluntness, the time to say 'I would like to spend my birthday with my mates' was when OP said she wanted them to do something together for his birthday. Not after she'd gone to the trouble of arranging it.

@Bluntness100

Honestly I can see both sides, this is bound to make you feel shit, but on the other hand I can also see why he’d maybe rather party a bit with his mates than sit and watch a movie surrounded by balloons. The question is should he have done what makes you happy on his birthday because you made the effort and would feel bad otherwise, or should he have pleased himself. Should you want him to do what makes you happy or want him to please himself on his birthday.

Did he come home for the dinner together and then went back out?

Oh come on bluntness.

But @Bluntness100 they had plans to spend it together, thats the issue.

He knew she had planned something, agreed to spend that time together, then changed that plan at the last minute by going out, coming back, going out again (!) then coming back again expecting OP to watch a film at midnight when she has to get up early. I think anyone would be pissed off with that.

They would, and it's pretty mean to make OP feel like her plans were mince.

I can see both sides as well.

OP has arranged a careful and thoughtful birthday surprise which BF was told was coming, and BF has been a deliberately cruel arsehole and thrown it back in OP's face specifically and solely in order to hurt her. BF is enjoying hurting her - this is a calculated shunning of her efforts.

OP, this isn't a misunderstanding. He didn't 'prefer' to be at a friend's house rather than watch a film at home. He did this because he wanted to hurt you. Of course he hasn't done anything for Mother's Day - he doesn't like you very much and he is enjoying showing you that he doesn't. You need to leave.

Thank you to everyone for helping me realise the situation from an outside perspective & helping me realise I deserve a lot better appreciate it and hope all you mums had a good Mother’s Day

You sound a lovely young woman, there will be suitors who are far more worthy of your kindness.

Happy Mothers Day to you.