Defensive partners

[MIAAN]

Posting this on behalf of a friend as I'm not sure how to help her. To get straight to the point, her partner gets defensive very easily. She could say something that's not even aimed at him or something that hasn't involved him and he will immediately get defensive about it and say "well it's not my fault". It's starting to get on her nerves but she's trying to be understanding, he was in an abusive and controlling relationship before he met my friend. Any advice?

Run?
It's not her job to fix him. Don't know how long she's been with him but it's going to get very frustrating for her, walking on egg-shells, scared to set him off.

There's nothing she can do. It's either the lack of ability to judge facial expressions and each situation individually, or it's the fact that he has zero trust in other people, and it puts a filter on the actions of everyone around him. It'll be exhausting being with someone like that.

@ItsNotLoveActually

Run? It's not her job to fix him. Don't know how long she's been with him but it's going to get very frustrating for her, walking on egg-shells, scared to set him off.

Yeah I think she's getting very fed up with him, she's tried talking to him about it and he says "I can't help it" or "it's not something I can change overnight" so idk

@EarthSight

There's nothing she can do. It's either the lack of ability to judge facial expressions and each situation individually, or it's the fact that he has zero trust in other people, and it puts a filter on the actions of everyone around him. It'll be exhausting being with someone like that.

Yes I can imagine it will get exhausting, I'm not sure how I can help her