Oddest kind of breakup

[Dervel]

I think things have just ended between me and this rather amazing woman. I’ve spent the last several days obviously in bits. However, and I dunno why, but I’m just reflecting today and am feeling overwhelmingly grateful it happened (that we met and connected, not the break!). I don’t think I’ll ever meet her like again, but my life will now be immeasurably better for having had her in it. Even if she’s not there going forward. I dunno why I’m unloading here, I just felt the need to say something, somewhere.

My two and a half year relationship ended a year ago. Whenever I look back at it, all I can do is smile and think of the amazing memories.

Why did the relationship end?

It's natural to look back on the good times and shared experiences and yes, they enrich your life. It's that old cliché -' Better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all'. However, something has gone wrong hasn't it. Don't put her on a pedestal as I'm sure you'll meet someone else equally great if you keep an open mind. It's good that you're not feeling bitter and angry but to passively think that's your lot is not healthy either.

I may have spoken prematurely, she reconnected.

Why did you break up originally? Careful not to fall into on again off again if things are already flip flopping a bit even in the last 24 hours. It can be a really hard cycle to break out of.

Well essentially I’m a guy with quite a few female friends, some of whom helped me make sense of this connection in the early days. I had some extremely strong feelings right from the outset really was like a thunderbolt. I think we passed a threshold, where I needed to be less going to other people and directly addressing things with her. Our communication was off basically, of which I take responsibility. We’ve both been through the ringer from past relationships, so triggered each other in a pretty significant way.

Other than that our communication is pretty stellar, I think we’re just both kind of shitting ourselves over the feelings we have. Just need to take it steady and build on what we have.