Some perspective please...new partner

[Tumblesfriend]

I’ve been with my new partner for 3 months. All going pretty well, we are bubbling so so eachother 1-2 times a week when my children are with my ex.
I do like him a lot and have found him to be very kind, thoughtful and caring, things my ex definitely wasn’t.

However there has been a few things and I’m not sure if they are red flags or minor (I think I’m on high alert because of how my ex treated me) and I would appreciate some perspective on these things.

On our first date he told he used to smoke weed in the past. I text him after just to ask how long ago this was and to confirm it definitely wasn’t something he still did as it’s definitely not something I am into. He replied saying it was over 10 years ago which reassured me. However yesterday he said he had been clearing out his house and found his weed, I was confused and he said he had bought some 2 years ago for help sleeping and had it since but hadn’t used it. Now whether that’s true or not I’m annoyed that I’m the first date he has said 10 years and now it’s within the last 2? He said he lied because it was obvious I didn’t like it and he didn’t want me to end things before they started. It doesn’t feel right to me that he lied to basically get me to stay interstates. Surely dating someone is about being honest and yourself and the other person making their mind up if they’re interested or where their boundaries lie?
This happened with something else but to w much lesser degree.
I know some people have no issue with weed but I guess it’s more about the lying for me.

Thanks

End it.

It’s the pattern of small lies that are the biggest flag, IMO.

It doesn’t automatically mean that they’ll lie about the big stuff, but it’s a habit they’ll have established at a young age and it’s unlikely they’d ever be able to stop doing it. You’ll never truly trust them.

He's a weed smoker, he's grooming you into accepting it

100%. You don't want a weed smoker so he lied to make you continue dating him. Weeds smokers are often a type, which is what you were trying to avoid..he is taking that choice away from you.

The fastest way to rule out abusers is to say No early and often. How he reacts shows his nature. Does he listen and respect your decision? Does he try to manipulate you into changing your opinion?

Biggest lesson I should have heard was when ex kept trying to see me and made me feel guilty for not seeing him. It's a way to rush the relationship despite your need to take things slow. Also he should have lots going on in his life to occupy him. This was another flag. I was stupidly flattered and thought I should see him often despite it not really working for me...he pushed my boundaries even to the point of moving in my stealth!

Hes proved to you he will lie to get what he wants. Plus the clingy side of him is a major flag. Get out before you get in too deep.

The second post is a red flag, bigtime. Sounds like lovebombing. Part of that is them wating to see you or bein contact contantly.

Also, it sounds like he still does weed. And that would become apparent at some point.

But I suggest you don't wait about till then.

*wanting to see you or be in contact