DV counselling *tw

[JCWildWest]

Hi

Has any one had any success with any sort of counselling after domestic violence and who to approach? In myself I’m ok, I’m happy enough, I’ve moved on, the DV was nearly 10 years ago and I’m in a very happy relationship and due to get married this year.

However, there are still things I can’t move on from, I’m not frightened or worried, I have a wonderful caring partner. The worst parts haunt me, I almost compulsively think about the time I thought I was going to get beaten to death before I fall asleep. Like I can’t help think about it. I dream about him, I dream I’m forced to let him into my life again like he’s at a window etc it’s bloody horrible. Is this ptsd? I’m not sure what to do, I want to close this horrible part of my life

Thank you, appreciate it’s a difficult subject and sorry if it upsets anyone

You definitely have ptsd, and I'm so sorry for everything you went through. I hope you find a great therapist who can help.

Thank you do you know how you find that sort of help? I’ve spoken to a counsellor before and found them very unhelpful

There is such a huge range of counselling/ therapists. As well as the level of training and area of expertise it is also important that you click with them as a person.
Just because that counsellor didn't help you doesn't mean that counselling won't help.

If you can afford to do it privately go to the ukcp and bacp websites, and use the search function. Get in touch with with a few, most will have a chat on the phone about the basics to get a feel for each other, then decide if you want a first session, and then decide if you want to work with them.

I suggest having a first session with two or three. There are some parallels with dating, trust your instinct on how you feel about them and try a few out.

If you can't afford to go private, there are lots of low-cost community counselling services all over the country. Usually cost about £10 a session (private is usually £40-70). Have a google in your area. These services are mostly provided by therapists in training, they will have experience and lots of support; and most NHS counselling services are also provided by the same level trainees but waiting lists are longer.

There are ways to alleviate the flashbacks and intrusive thoughts you are having, you owe it to yourself to get the help to do this and get the abuser out of your head.

I have heard EMDR is very helpful with this type of trauma.

Thank you that’s really helpful

Counselling is a relationship. You have to find someone you trust, or it won't work. Don't let a bad experience put you off. Try again. And again, if necessary, until you find someone you can open up to.

It's very very very worth it. Definitely sounds like PTSD you've got there. It's a really good thing you're ready to kick it up the arse and move on.

www.psychologytoday.com/gb/counselling/trauma-and-ptsd/eng/brighton

Try here, and keep in mind that lots of therapists are working online now, which opens you up to the whole world of therapists, and therapy in your own home. Might make it easier to find the right person/price, and be more comfortable.

It's good to hear you have a supportive partner now.

Good luck.

@WellIWasInTheNeighbourhoo

I have heard EMDR is very helpful with this type of trauma.

Agree this is a great idea to look into - it has changed my life when it comes to PTSD. I know there isn't a magic thing that works for everyone but it's really, really helped me and lots of other people who have been through trauma too.