Break up

[Samlou78]

I've ended my 3 year relationship today with someone I love completely.
I wasnt feeling happy about some issues and ended it for my own well being.
Is there any advice in this situation, ways to cope?
Anyone who's been there and can say some words would be so much appreciated.
I'm heartbroken.

I'm sorry you're going through this, you have my sympathies. It is really hard. I know with lockdown it's near impossible but try and distract yourself as much as possible. Try new hobbies, when you can get throw yourself into some groups in your area for new activities, vent to a friend or even just catch up. Every single minute that goes by, you're closer to the day you'll begin to feel happy and free again. Give yourself a pat on the back for making such a tough decision, and try to remember why you did it and stick to it when you start yearning for it and regretting. If you did go back, it's really likely you'll just feel the same as you did before after some time

I ended a relationship 5 weeks ago, heartbroken even though it was my choice, it's hard when there is feelings but they are no good for you.
I get through it by knowing I've made the best decision for my long term happiness, I feel lonely atm but when I'm ready I can choose to be in a better relationship next time.
I no longer have anxiety and I'm enjoying a peaceful state of mind. I no longer have to put up with his annoying habits and the frustration he caused me.

There will be up and down days but you will get through it. Have you got a friend to confide in? It help talking through it with someone you know or on here for advice and support.

How are you feeling now? I have just done the exact same but wondering if I have made the right decision as I haven't given him the opportunity to even work on it even though all the issues have come from me.x

Good on you. Always good to know you've done the adult thing to protect yourself moving forwards. You should be proud :)

I broke up with someone earlier this year who was great but I could see there was one area that was a big incompatibility. And knew we had to split before it would be harder to.

You've gotta do right by yourself ultimately. I sleep a lot easier now. I can imagine I'd be hella sad if I loved him (but it wasnt a long term thing) but just because walking away hurts, doesn't mean it isn't the right thing to do.

Life is too short to spend it worrying about something that quite frankly, would never work out. Adulting is tough sometimes though.

Hi @Samlou78 so sorry to hear you are going through this heartache. I think you are very brave to have done this. May I ask if you were living together?
I have been living with my DP for a year and it has been evident to me since about Christmas that long term this will damage me. I am trying to get up the courage to end it.
I am also worried he will get verbally abusive, as confrontational is his go to when discussing anything (yes anything and sadly now most subjects are off the table)
You know you have done the right thing for you. Put your energy into getting fit. Cooking and eating nice food that you like. Watching what you want to watch on TV

Find someone who meets your needs. Most people are only as needy as their unmet needs The dependency paradox. I'm not suggesting this is you - but it is me and I have read loads around attachment (Amir Levine Attached) and it has made things clearer for me in my head that certain elements will never change.
Sending you and hugs

Like the others have said @Samlou78 you are very brave. I ended a relationship of 18 months last week and it sounds like a similar situation. I really loved him, but there were a few major things about him that I decided weren’t going to do me any good in the long term... could have plodded on but I think the end would have been inevitable further down the line. Right now I’m trying to keep busy with work, meeting the odd friend for a walk and focussing on nice things to do post lockdown...

I am also planning to write down the things I know made us incompatible for the long term. I know that sounds a bit weird but just as a reminder to myself that I’m doing the right thing, in case I start waivering and being tempted to reach out to him! Good luck everyone x

Sorry you’re hurting. There’s research that shows painkillers work for emotional pain as well as they go for physical pain. So take 2 paracetamol and see.

Also, antidepressants help with heartbreak.

Otherwise - just be kind to yourself, stop ALL contact, and wait. It’ll get better.

Do not take paracetamol for heartache!

@MaLarkinn

Do not take paracetamol for heartache!

Well they'll probably work better than booze lol.my mum always suggests them if I have trouble sleeping. I guess everything is easier if nothing else aches. Including heartache. Though I dunno if itll dull the actual heartache lol.

Do not take paracetamol for heartache!

Actually, you’re right. Ibuprofen is the one that helps women deal with emotional pain:

The experiments suggest that a regular dose of the pills might affect a person's sensitivity to painful emotional experiences. For example, in one study, women who took ibuprofen reported less hurt feelings from emotionally painful experiences.

Thank you for the comments.
No we weren't living together, we were planning on him moving in this year but obviously that's not going to happen now.
Lots has happened since we split and I'm seeing more and more that I did the right thing, it doesnt make it any easier though.
Hugs for everyone going through the same issues at the moment

I hope you are okay, and it sounds like you have done the right thing. Keep strong.