Couples counselling - has anyone had it?

[Iloveshreddies]

Just that really. Has anyone had couples counselling and what was it like? Did it help you to stay together or split?

Me and Dh had some sessions with relate. It was to discuss an issue in the marriage we were struggling to get past. Counsellor really took Dhs side and laid into me quite a bit. DH hated it and actually it helped him see things from my side and he felt quite protective over me. The marriage has survived and is stronger now but we never went back.

Reading some of these posts has reminded me how awful it was. The therapist at relate had an agenda-and she was delighted when she felt she had proven her theory.
I felt under attack by her when it was my ex who had the affair!

PanamaPattie

If you are at the point in your relationship where you feel that a counselling will resolve your issues- it's already too late. Don't waste your time and money. Split up and move on with your life.

This!
I had a negative experience with Relate too. Ex had a affair and was emotionally abusive yet I was told to accept both!

Not relate - private marriage counsellor after a one night infidelity (not me) and she's been great in first two sessions helping us communicate and decide what we want to do, and pulling him up on a few things which surprised me but has definitely helped !

If you are at the point in your relationship where you feel that a counselling will resolve your issues- it's already too late. Don't waste your time and money. Split up and move on with your life.

Well, I kind of agree, except we haven't gone into it thinking that counselling will resolve our issues. We know we're the only ones that can do that - we're just looking for guidance on how to do that. There's a difference.

Positive experience here. Still married, definitely communicating much better.
Best friend did relate, she found it helpful, her husband didn't, but they are v much still together too.

We had a private counsellor who I found through website of British association of counsellors and psychotherapy BACP. It will list who is local and what they specialise in/ type of training. Talk to a few on the phone first, or ask friends for recomendations. If you don't gel to start with, feel free to not continue.

I called a few because we had no childcare and baby was small so I wanted to bring him along and most don't like this. However the lady I found was lovely and I'm happy to bump into her in town. We timed it for naptime generally and parked him asleep in buggy in her kitchen, but he always woke up at some point..

The big issue for us was husband's depression and his denial of this and how it affected me and rest of family, it was v v hard for him but ultimately we are still together! And he's getting better and we can talk about it now.

Give it a go
Good luck