STDs

[Pinkpuppets]

I've been dating a really nice guy for just over a year, with a few months separation inbetween. 2 weeks ago I went to the sexual health clinic to have my injection and also had a routine check up. I got the results back about a week ago and they were negative, this morning I had a phone call from the clinic saying that they misplaced one of my tests and I have tested positive for an std and to go in to get treatment.

Obviously I know I need to tell the guy I'm sleeping with and will be doing so this evening, as I've already told him I need to see him. But how do i even start that conversation? I've never had an std before and I know that I have most definitely contracted it from him, as my previous sexual partner was over 2 years ago and I have been tested twice since then. Once after my ex and once when I started seeing new guy and we decided not to use condoms anymore, both were negative.

Hi if it's chlamydia,? it's not only your partner who will be notified as it's termed as tracing both party's have to contact previous partners before you got together.. and inform, I'll never forget having whats called the umbrella ( it's bit graphic but includes a thin plastic swab stick inserted into a man's penis slit, I imagine it's same style of treatment for a woman, I was on course of antibiotics and all clear after few weeks,, but you not note the STD,?

Just tell him?
You're close enough to share bodily fluids, I'm sure you're close enough to tell him he gave you an infection!

I reckon I'd probably just text him the news rather than do a face to face. Then he can consider his reactions and response, and if it turns out that he behaves defensively or unpleasantly, as sometimes people do, he can do it in his own time.

@MazekeenSmith Well of course I'm going to tell him, but how do you even start that conversation? I just don't know what to say or how to say it.

@Ardvark111 It's called trichomionois? I don't have any previous partners to contact as my last sexual partner was over 2 years and I got tested after him, with all coming back negative. I had to go this afternoon to collect some antibiotics, which I have to take for a week.

@pinkpuppets ok iv not heard / knowledge of that 1,? But good luck telling your partner if he takes it badly just remind him it * takes 2 to tango,!! And he not only 1 infected.. X

Eeeeeew i just googled it lol

@Kelly345 that’s so rude and immature! If you have nothing constructive to say don’t say anything at all.

[quote autumnalrain]@Kelly345 that’s so rude and immature! If you have nothing constructive to say don’t say anything at all.[/quote]
And the bf who gave it to her wasn't rude and immature??

He isn't rude or immature!

@Kelly345 OP has obviously been blindsighted by this diagnosis. If you were ever told you had an STD im sure you wouldn’t want to be told ‘ewwwww’. I’m sure OP feels bad enough, your comment and second comment are so tone deaf.

Hi i had this happen I had only been seeing him for 3 months but I knew it was him as I hadn't been with anyone in years beforehand and like you had been tested since. To be honest I was a baby and text him but I just literally said I've been tested and come back positive for std, im not putting any blame on you it can happen to anyone but I haven't been with anyone else so looks like we will both need treatment and does he want to go together to get the treatment. All was fine we went together to the clinic slightly wierd haha but just got to be open as embarrassing as it first seems x

@Pinkpuppets

He isn't rude or immature!

Well It's not exactly adult and responsible giving girls std's.

@kelly345 I'm also not a "girl" he hasn't intentionally given it to me and I'm pretty sure he'll be upset that he has.

@Msgiggles30 Thank you, I didn't want to do it by text although I'm now regretting that decision the closer the time comes for me to see him I'm sure it will go ok and as far as I know he hasn't had any symptoms and neither have I. If I hadn't had gone for my contraception we wouldn't have known.

@pinkpuppets you could ask the clinic discreetly if this infection remains dormant for periods of time, ie months / years,,? I'm not insinuating your bf may have cheated on you, but,??? The woman passed it onto me and had the audacity to blame me,!! 1 night I was there at her house and another guy turn up ( I knew him ) we were both there for same thing, 😂 I left, this going back many many years ago tho..

'You need to get treatment for X STD and inform your previous partners as I've tested positive, I haven't slept with anyone else for two year so it's safe to say you have it.'

I'd have texted it too texting is great for this stuff as saves you both the embarrassment and him having to react with his first expression!

@Ardvark111 We both a a check up last year after we'd been seeing each other for a few months as we didn't want to use condoms and both of us came back negative. I did ask the clinic and they said it isn't something that is routinely tested for and doesn't show up on a home testing kit which is what he done, so it could well have not shown up on his results.
I however went into the clinic as I went to put myself on contraception at the same time, so had the full works done ie HIV syphilis etc..which all came back negative, I'm definitely not ruling out him sleeping with someone else as I said we did have a brief separation so he could well have slept with someone then and it's my own stupid fault for not asking if he had and continuing to have unprotected sex with him. Which is also another reason as to why I want to speak to him face to face.

Trichomoniasis is quite a commonly transmitted STI. However it isn’t tested for in home/postal tests and not always in clinics. About half of people who contract it don’t have any symptoms so unless they test fir it won’t know they’ve got it. It’s easily treatable with ABs - metronidazole (make sure you drink no alcohol, even that in mouthwash, when you take it).

It’s most likely that he doesn’t know so a case of telling him you’ve had your routine check up done, what’s shown up and he should get tested too with treatment given as necessary. Just keep it simple. It’s good you’ve been so responsible.

@Kelly345 STIs work both ways and women can also pass it on unknowingly to men. We tend to know nothing about it until we get tested for it. There should be no blame attached.

Been in your exact situation op with an ex. I'd been tested just before him and it was negative I still had the text in my phone. Tested a month in and positive. He tried to blame me but couldn't as I had proof, we got over it

Hi @pinkpuppets. I hope your bf took the news well and on the chin.!! After my posts It got me thinking again about my unprotected encounters with that woman ( I knew her n family very well ) it was only fact 1 day I said to mate at work it hurt when I had a pee, that was my 1st + LAST.. introduction to STD s 😂 even tho it was confidential in GUM clinic.. it was still embarrassing experiences,!! Anyways I was impressed
How you take your sexual health / testing.. very seriously,!! I hope you can both move on from this x