I got sexual coercion into sex when my boyfriend and I were broken up

[Yesus339]

My boyfriend and I broke up over a silly argument when I was at university two years ago. I went out a couple of nights later and I started flirting and made out with a mutual friend while I was at a club.

We all when back to the student accommodation and just before I was going to bed he told me “you can’t just flirt with me and not carry on. You’re leading me on”. I didn’t realise at that time that sexual coercion was a thing and thought that that was fair enough and it was my fault so I ended up going back his and having sex with him. I couple of weeks later my boyfriend and I got back together. I some reason feel guilty now that I haven’t told him. Should I, even though it’s been two years?

It’s up to you but you didn’t cheat on him, and as you say it’s borderline assault. Would your boyfriend be caring and understanding or fly off the handle?

@cerseii

It’s up to you but you didn’t cheat on him, and as you say it’s borderline assault. Would your boyfriend be caring and understanding or fly off the handle?

Not all sexual coercion is sexual assault and i don't believe this fits the definition of sexual assault.

OP regardless it doesn't matter anyway you were broken up. You don't owe your bf any explanation. You don't have to tell him what you did while you weren't together.

I'd agree that it's not cheating it's just the timescale. Probably in your head & heart two days after breaking up with your boyfriend you would still have been 'emotionally' connected to him.
This is why it's bothering you and often happens when people are vunerable and seek attention and comfort after a break up.
Your not ready for it and still have all the feelings of still being with your ex and the guilt creeps in.
Personally when I've broken up with someone the last thing I've wanted to do was have sex with someone else. It's a question I wrestle with if you cared that much about somebody how could you shag someone else so close to finishing with them.
That said everyone is different, I guess the question would you want to know if your boyfriend had sex with someone else two days after breaking up with you.
I agree it's not cheating but from bitter experience it still hurts and as good as feels like it.