So you might need to bare with me on this one, it could be long. I have been with my partner for over 20 years we are married and have two children. In November 2019 I had thoughts that I didn’t want to be with him anymore, I felt like his mother and not his partner and I did sit down with him and have a chat about it. He then told me that he has suicidal thoughts and I persuaded him to seek help, he was diagnosed with depression and put-on medication. Anyway, we worked on it and things changed slightly and the family didn’t feel like we had to walk on as many egg shells as we did previously and I put my previous thoughts and feeling to one side as I needed to be there to support him. Anyway, since last October my thoughts about not loving him and wanting to be with him have come back. I also suspect I am perimenopausal which hasn’t helped I have been to the doctor who has done a blood test and said there is nothing wrong with me. I just don’t feel any attraction to him anymore, I feel we have grown apart and have nothing in common. He on the other hand is absolutely besotted by me and still really fancies me. The only thing we really had in common before was sex and now my sex drive has dropped through the floor there is nothing there anymore. I have told him that I don’t have any sex drive and it isn’t me not wanting to try but he thinks I am doing it on purpose. I told him last week that I am really struggling and that I don’t think I love him anymore and his first reaction was well I know you do still love me and please put me out of my misery and have sex with me. When I also told him that I didn’t want to be with him he said that well you can move out as I have know where to go (which is fine but I also have now where to go) and that if I do go then I am not taking the children with me, he also said that if I do go then his life won’t be worth living and he may as well end it. So it feel like I am completely trapped and that I can’t leave as a. I am not going anywhere without my children and b. if I did go I am worried about what he might do to himself. So I agreed that I would try but I just can’t shake these feelings, he keep following me round the house and just smothering me, wanting to cuddle and kiss all of the time (I am not that sort of person), I keep catching him just sitting there staring at me. He got all down yesterday as our son said I love you mum, so I said it back, but he got upset because I can’t tell him that, so now I feel like I can’t tell my own children that I love them. I also woke up yesterday morning and he was rubbing my boobs and down below, which I find a bit odd. He then said to me, well you managed to get wet down there when you were asleep, so your body still work so it’s just you that doesn’t. I don’t really know what I am hoping to get from this post other than somewhere for me to be able to let this out as I have know one that close who I can talk to.