My feelings are real and it's real how he makes me feel
This is the key to the door that gets you out of feeling like this, @TuckFriar
You ask 'What am I going to do?'. The first step is to grab and grip that statement with your head and with your heart. Because even if your mental health was at the root of this (and I don't for a second believe that it is), then a caring person wouldn't be saying to you that your mental health was at the root of this.
Can you imagine, if you weren't in this situation yourself, if a person you loved was having mental health difficulties. Can you imagine how cruel you would feel to say to them 'Well, look at all the problems you're causing, with your depression and your anxiety! You're ruining everything!'
Just ponder that. That's how cruel he is being to you.
It isn't inappropriate to have a decline in mental heath when you are being subjected to cruelty, in your home, on a regular basis, by somebody who says they love you. It is the entirely sane response, just as much as saying 'Ow!' when you bang your head.
How bad you feel is representative of the level of cruelty you are being subjected to. It's not your fault. Cruelty drives sane people like yourself right to the edge.
You have to get away from him. There is support for you, at Women's Aid. Even if you just call them once, they can give you advice and encouragement. They have seen thousands of women in very similar positions to you; in the nicest possible way, there is nothing special about you. This happens to tonnes of people, all the time, from all different walks of life.
Women's Aid can help you. And you can help yourself by staying away from him whenever you can, and reminding yourself over and over that there is nothing wrong with you and that it makes no sense to feel guilty for somebody else's cruelty towards you.